Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Detroit

North I-75. Factories, industrial wasteland. Morning rush hour traffic. The sleep my body begs for is being kept at bay by a few sips of coffee from forty minutes ago.

Why am I driving? Friends, of course.

Seriously though, why am I awake right now? I'm driving through the city, I should be asleep, my back hurts...

The highway beneath me vaults upward. Is this a bridge? What am I driving over?

I summit the highway peak and look out over the cement valley.
The Detroit skyline. The bridge to Canada. The sun half-shining through a slit in the clouds above the city. The traffic rushes around me as the unexpectedly beautiful scene floats unmoving in my front windshield.

The natural beauty of God's creation shines in the sky above, and the beauty of God's creativity shines through the ingenuity of man. Beauty is everywhere.

Maybe I just need more sleep. My back hurts.

The picture is burned into my memory, though.

Peace.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Westward 2013, pre-launch

So, here we are again. The third summer's-end in a row I'm making a trip west. This trip is much different, though. Instead of a vacation, it is a work trip, a seasonal volunteer opportunity, a long road trip, a new temporary home, a chance to unplug myself from most technology and the rest of the world for a season.

The true reality of going to Idaho, however, is it will be a spiritual journey.

I am leaving behind the world I know: my job, my family, my state, my dear friends, my perspectives, most of my belongings, and maybe even a bit of my self. A different life awaits me on the opposite end of this journey. I do not know what it will look like, or if it will "look" different at all.

I will not be the same, though.

A friend told me this would be the case, but also explained how my old ways and thoughts will not be easily shaken off. Change, although encouraged by a new location and lifestyle, still does not come easy. It comes with a price.

I hope to spend a lot of time reading, writing (something I have not done much of before), making music, and experiencing God's beauty in the mountains. The same previously mentioned friend also told me to make intentional goals for my time there in order to get the most out of it and facilitate the change I desire. These goals are probably going to be related to the activities I just mentioned.

This weekend was a very emotional one for me. I hosted a send-off party at my house, and over thirty of my friends came to say goodbye. I received many kind words, and some meaningful gifts...the greatest of these was love. After almost everyone had gone, I realised how much I love my friends, and how much they love me. They truly are my family; not to diminish how much I value my family, but rather to say how much I value my friends. We treat each other as family.

Last night I took one final trip to Grand Rapids to support a friend who was performing a stand-up routine, and to see my best friend Korey. I don't often use specific names on this blog, purposefully so, but it is appropriate to mention him. We could not spend much time together, but it meant so much for us to see each other before I left. He also gave me some very meaningful gifts and words.

One friend commented on how we said goodbye as if we would never see each other again.

It is better to love fully, without holding back, than to keep it inside. Fear of rejection stifles the human desire to be vulnerable with each other.

A famous quote from C.S. Lewis:

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

God is slowly showing me what love without fear looks like. Perhaps this is what will be different about me when I return to Michigan once more (I was tempted to write "for the final time" instead of "once more"...a good friend once told me I am very dramatic, but it is a good thing because God made my personality this way, haha. Perhaps "final time" is too dramatic, but who knows?).

On a different note, I am moving out of Lansing today. Tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday I will be traveling around southeast Michigan: cutting bank ties and seeing a few more friends before I go. Friday and Saturday I will be spending some final time in northern Michigan, and Sunday will be a farewell cookout at my church and one last board game with some friends from Lansing.

Labor Day, Monday, September 2, we leave for Idaho.

I know many of you will want to know what is going on while I am there. I will likely not be blogging or using Facebook during my time on the farm, and I have no idea if I will be able to call people using my cell phone. When possible, I would like to send group e-mail updates to those who will read them. If you want, send me an e-mail soon so I can have a list of addresses ready before I leave. No promises on the frequency of these e-mails, but I will try my hardest to keep you informed.

butlerc777@gmail.com

Your prayers are appreciated. Thank you.

Peace.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Idaho

So, as a number of you already know, I recently had an amazing opportunity present itself to me. One of my friends from Spring Arbor called me up Sunday night, asking if I wanted to work on an organic farm in Idaho with him from September to December. Needless to say, I wanted to give him a "Yes!" right then and there, but a number of things had to be sorted out first.

I have spent this whole week thinking and praying about this, trying to sort out my options, and thinking about my job, housing, financial, and ministry situations...and now, at the end of this week, I have decided to go all in on this adventure. My mom and pastor are in support of me going (which are both very important to me), and I've put in my two week notice at Preuss Pets. The right steps have been taken as much as possible, and I'm ready to start preparing for the craziest thing I've ever done.

We will be leaving September 2, taking a week to have a fantastic road trip out there: South Dakota, Grand Teton, Yellowstone, the Montana Rockies. The farm itself is in the northern end of the Idaho panhandle, twenty miles from Canada, and right next to Glacier National Park. Each workday will be done by 4pm, we will be housed in a cabin with a wood-burning stove, all our food will be provided, and we will have three-day weekends. Can you say, "road trips every weekend?"

All in all, this is going to be amazing. I've been looking for opportunities to get away from everything, particularly seasonal jobs like this. I feel I function better in short-term jobs...maybe it's a result of working at camp for too many summers.








One thing in particular I'm very excited about is the alone time I will have. It's been too long since I've disconnected from everything. I'll have a lot of time to connect with God in the mountains, to work on music, to read...to just enjoy life.

I will be coming back to Michigan probably via train in December; my friend will be looking for other opportunities elsewhere. When I get back, I will work on finishing up the albums for which I've been trying to raise support, and looking for a new job and place to live. I still don't know exactly where I will go once I'm back home: my family's house in Williamston is where I will go initially, but I will probably be looking for jobs in other parts of the state as soon as I can. My time in the Lansing area is coming to an end. My church will be waiting for my return, and I will be there for a time as the worship leader again, although I do not yet have a guess for how long. I'm trying not to think too hard about what December will bring, though.

Anyway, I'm very excited about this whole thing. I feel it's a very good and important step in the right direction. I want to be able to make at least a little time for anyone who wants to see me before I leave, so let me know! Tonight, I will be at Center Lake Bible Camp to say goodbye to my former employers, who are going on their own journey to work at a camp in Santa Fe. Lots of people I know will be there, and, without trying to steal the moment, I will have a chance to say goodbye to many of them as well.

Your prayers are appreciated.

Peace.