Home is where the heart is

I long for a simple life; a peaceful life. Living in the city has its perks, but it is not for me. Do not mistake me: by "simple" I do not mean convenient. If I wanted a life of convenience, the city would indeed be a good home...but it is not my home, and never will be. If, as they say, home is where the heart is, then my home is across a whole range of mountains, and spans nations' borders. My heart lies in the desert canyons of New Mexico, the rugged wildness of Durango, the grand splendour of Jackson Hole, the friendly simplicity of Moyie Springs, and the silent beauty of Kootenay Lake. These places are more my home than almost anywhere else I have lived. The day now fast approaches when I can finally leave Michigan and follow the setting sun.

Peace.

South-West Bound

Hello friends! Important events are beginning to unravel. In case you haven't seen me post about it on FB, you should know that I am applying for a crew leader position at the Southwest Conservation Corps based in northern New Mexico and southern Colorado. I feel like I am definitely capable of being a crew leader per their qualifications, but at the very least I do not think I can fail to land a job as a crew member. In fact, I was initially planning on only applying for a crew member position, but the applications for that one are not open until December, and the leader positions are open now. 

If I land the crew leader job, I will be moving out of Michigan in April...possibly even March.

This puts things into perspective. I am normally pretty good with my spending, but now I see I really need to cut some frivolous spending. Start buying more groceries and try to kill my fast-food habit. Get rid of more stuff. I have been doing this one slowly with each new place I live in, but if I am moving out West, I hope to seriously downsize. This is not from some sort of obsession with poverty, because I like having money, haha. I want to live more simply, which is very hard in America today. My ultimate goal: be able to move across the country with everything I own inside my van. This may seem outlandish to some of you, but I was almost able to do this when I moved to Grand Rapids. I'm already selling off my bicycle and bass guitar, and I'll probably be giving a bunch of my clothes to Goodwill before I leave. 

Just a quick update. I'll probably be back soon to write more.

Peace.

Mountains and West Bound

*This is a journal entry from my trip to Idaho, one day prior to arriving at the farm. This is not a complete journal entry; I have abstained from posting all of it, as it contains personal thoughts which I have shared only with close friends*

Mountains can be very deceiving when trying to judge distance. Everything seems much closer than it is, and what looks like a twenty-minute drive could actually take forty-five minutes. On the flip side, because they are so large, one can seemingly gain very little ground on a certain peak, then realise they have traveled ten miles.

Mount Moran has an enormous hole in its center this time of year. You can see right through, as long as there are clouds behind it. The clouds in the hole don't move with the others, though. Strange. *This was a reference to the glacier on the side of the mountain, which at times matched the colour of the clouds behind it almost perfectly*

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I realised something else today. This "West" I have longed for is not really a place. It is freedom, beauty, the wild, adventure, and love. The American West is romanticised; the ideals behind it are what I truly long for. These can be had anywhere in life. I can carry the West in my heart and live the life I have always wanted, even apart from the mountains. This may change my life.

"West Bound" is no longer just a Facebook pseudonym: it is becoming and is already who I am. Perhaps it will be a "real" pseudonym for future writings.

We will be in Moyie Springs by Saturday. I am excited to have a wood-burning stove and a place to put my belongings other than the car. I am also excited to start writing letters.

A New Year

So, looking back on 2013, I'm inclined to call it a year of reconciliation for myself. Several very close friendships were restored and my relationship with my dad finally received some important healing. Brian "Head" Welch, from the band Korn, used this term in reference to 2013, and I agreed with his assessment.

I have decided that 2014 is going to be a year of education. Tomorrow, I start an Introduction to Genetics and Evolution class, and Monday I start Dinosaur Paleobiology. Both are online through Coursera.org, a program which partners with major universities around the world to offer a large number of free online classes to anyone. I am very excited to start both classes, and they are both going to help me become more connected with the paleontological field. Until I am able to either find a job in that area or at least take more formal classes to further my education in it, I am planning on continuously taking free online courses of this nature. It will help me stay interested and on track with my life goals.

That being said, if anyone is interested in taking these courses along with me, it IS free, and I would love to discuss them with you!

Peace.

The Mongolian Connection

So, I have always been a traveler. You could say I am afflicted with chronic wanderlust. I have often thought about living overseas for an extended amount of time. The idea of visiting a place for a few weeks does not particularly appeal to me as much as living somewhere for a few months, or even years. I want to really understand and experience any culture to which I am being introduced.

You may be surprised to hear in this context that I have never really wanted nor felt called to overseas missions work. It has not even mildly interested me in the past, even though I still plan on living in a different country (or countries) for several years of my life. Short-term missions in particular are what have made me dislike the idea of becoming a missionary. If I were to go into the mission field, it would be for an amount of time which would really get me into a culture, enough so I could be a citizen if I bothered with that process.

Due to its barren, wild landscape, interesting culture and history, and numerous important paleontological sites, Mongolia has always piqued my interest, one of the only Asian countries to do so.

This summer, a group called the Freedom Tour came through Lansing and held a weekend event at a local church. I attended on the last evening of it. During this time, they had everyone come up at least once to be prayed over and ask God for their calling, purpose, what they were made for, etc. Someone would be praying for you specifically and asking God for pictures and words about you, and another person would be writing it down. I went up for this. Among other things they said about me in which I could see God's truth, one of the words was something about being a light in Asia for God. They did say wheter anything which was prayed over me did or did not match up with what I already knew about God's calling for my life, pray about all of it. Since I had never considered missions work before (and especially not in Asia), I just took it in stride, although my mind went immediately to Mongolia as the only place which I would really consider.

Fast forward to this evening. I was at an event at the Furnace Prayer Room in East Lansing. A young man named Tyler was presenting something called the Ekballo Project, his idea for missions to the Himalayan region. During this time, I was reminded of what was said to me at the Freedom Tour event. I have become more acclimated to living in a more difficult situation, and although I have certain goals I am currently trying to attain, I would no longer put overseas missions out of the realm of possibility. With all of this in mind, I went up to the fellow after the presentation and prayer time was over and was about to ask if he could pray for me about this as a possibility for the future. Before I could ask, though, he said, "Have we met? Were you at the Freedom Tour this past year in Lansing?"

Whoa. As it turns out, this was in fact the same guy who had prayed over me at the event this summer! Now here I am asking for prayer about the very same things which were brought up at that time which are now in my head again. How very interesting.

Naturally, I would very much appreciate it if you all would pray God would guide me regarding the possibility of future missions to Mongolia. I will be praying a lot about it myself. Thank you.

Also, I finally have a job again! I am now working for Two Men and a Truck in Grand Rapids, where I will be living most of the week. My friend Andrew and I will hopefully be moved here fully in January.

Peace.

Happiness

So, as explained extensively in my last post, I feel bit different since returning from Idaho. One of ways this has been manifesting is in my general attitude on life. I may not sound much different to some, but inside I feel much more content with life. Life just seems better, more do-able. Maybe it is a result of all the other things which I realised while I was out West, or maybe it is a separate product of the trip, but I just plain feel better. Things which used to bother me a lot have much less of an effect on me. I also used to be very self-conscious, often thinking I was a bother to others or I had to be funny or useful to prove myself to those around me. My time in Idaho turned out to be a big self-esteem booster. Now, I understand more of my value as a person and son of God.

To be honest, I cannot recall when I have been so optimistic about life. Perhaps this is a result of dealing with a suicide while I was in Idaho; perhaps it was making the decision to move there and following through with it; perhaps it stems from all the reading I have been doing; perhaps it is through becoming reconnected to my lifelong dreams. Whatever the cause, I feel much more capable to succeed in life, and the little things which normally get in the way are unable to bring me down.

Thank You, God, for whatever You have done in me.

Peace.

Idaho

So, as a number of you already know, I recently had an amazing opportunity present itself to me. One of my friends from Spring Arbor called me up Sunday night, asking if I wanted to work on an organic farm in Idaho with him from September to December. Needless to say, I wanted to give him a "Yes!" right then and there, but a number of things had to be sorted out first.

I have spent this whole week thinking and praying about this, trying to sort out my options, and thinking about my job, housing, financial, and ministry situations...and now, at the end of this week, I have decided to go all in on this adventure. My mom and pastor are in support of me going (which are both very important to me), and I've put in my two week notice at Preuss Pets. The right steps have been taken as much as possible, and I'm ready to start preparing for the craziest thing I've ever done.

We will be leaving September 2, taking a week to have a fantastic road trip out there: South Dakota, Grand Teton, Yellowstone, the Montana Rockies. The farm itself is in the northern end of the Idaho panhandle, twenty miles from Canada, and right next to Glacier National Park. Each workday will be done by 4pm, we will be housed in a cabin with a wood-burning stove, all our food will be provided, and we will have three-day weekends. Can you say, "road trips every weekend?"

All in all, this is going to be amazing. I've been looking for opportunities to get away from everything, particularly seasonal jobs like this. I feel I function better in short-term jobs...maybe it's a result of working at camp for too many summers.








One thing in particular I'm very excited about is the alone time I will have. It's been too long since I've disconnected from everything. I'll have a lot of time to connect with God in the mountains, to work on music, to read...to just enjoy life.

I will be coming back to Michigan probably via train in December; my friend will be looking for other opportunities elsewhere. When I get back, I will work on finishing up the albums for which I've been trying to raise support, and looking for a new job and place to live. I still don't know exactly where I will go once I'm back home: my family's house in Williamston is where I will go initially, but I will probably be looking for jobs in other parts of the state as soon as I can. My time in the Lansing area is coming to an end. My church will be waiting for my return, and I will be there for a time as the worship leader again, although I do not yet have a guess for how long. I'm trying not to think too hard about what December will bring, though.

Anyway, I'm very excited about this whole thing. I feel it's a very good and important step in the right direction. I want to be able to make at least a little time for anyone who wants to see me before I leave, so let me know! Tonight, I will be at Center Lake Bible Camp to say goodbye to my former employers, who are going on their own journey to work at a camp in Santa Fe. Lots of people I know will be there, and, without trying to steal the moment, I will have a chance to say goodbye to many of them as well.

Your prayers are appreciated.

Peace.

Spring to summer, fatherless to Fathered

So, this post will have a little more thought put into it than my last couple, which have mostly been blurted ideas or vague descriptions of what I've seen God doing lately. Yay for clarity!

First, let it be known that I'm probably not going to Colorado in May/June, like I was talking about. After some thoughts, prayers, and remembering other things God has said to me since I got back from my original trip out there, I've decided it would be better to wait until God presents the right moment instead of forcing His hand. It would also be really nice to have enough extra money to make sure my van is in top condition for making the journey and staying alive once I'm out there, haha.

Soon after I got back to Michigan, I had plenty of people (including people with no invested interest in keeping me around) telling me, "Wow, it sounds like God is definitely going to get you out there! Now, just don't rush His timing!" He's clearly given me confirmation after confirmation that He is going to bring me there...so why should I try to push the timing along myself? God's timing is perfect, and mine is not, so I will trust Him and see what He has in store. My personality leans really heavily toward running away to adventure...so I have to watch out for that in myself. The summer camp I was looking at seemed really awesome, but it never really seemed like it was an opportunity from God, even though I tried really hard to convince myself of it, haha.

All that being said, I'm still praying for August as the date to leave, but I've also given it to God so I don't idolize that time or freak out at Him if it doesn't happen. Who knows? He may have a much better time planned.

I mentioned previously that God has been teaching me lately how He is my Father. After doing a short study on the instances of God being referred to as Father in Scripture, one thing that stood out in connection with those references was God as Teacher. I never had a dad growing up to teach me how to be a Godly man, so seeing this connection has been really helpful. In Matthew chapter twenty-three, Jesus tells us not to call anyone Rabbi, Father, or Teacher, other than Himself/God, because He alone is truly all of those to us. Whoa. God is the One Who can teach us best. He alone is free from error, always truthful, and always looking out for our best interests. Who is a better choice to teach children how to live and grow than their only true Father? No one. God wants us all to grow up together as images of Him on earth. Jesus, our co-heir in the inheritance of the Father, and in a way our big Brother, came first as the perfect example of how to live in our Father's will and thus bring glory to Him.

God gives good gifts to His children (the best, in fact), and what's better is that He always knows exactly what we need most. Even though it may not seem like what we need (especially if it's more like His discipline), our Father only gives good and perfect gifts, and all of them work for the good of His children and for His glory. Wow, what an awesome family we're a part of!

Our Father wants us to rest in His loving arms as His children, knowing we are safe and secure from everything. He runs out to meet us where we are, throwing His robe around us, placing rings on our fingers, and preparing a feast for us with Him at His table. Wow, does He love us! The Creator of the universe, the Great Physician, mighty God, everlasting Father, Prince of peace, Lord of lords, the great I AM...He wants us to be His children, and He loves us. Whoa. If God wants to be our Father, and is the ultimate, perfect fulfillment of what it means to be a father...I still don't get it, haha, but man, that's crazy.

Peace.

Westward 2012, debrief

So, this trip to Colorado has officially changed my life. It would take an extremely long post to explain everything and I've already talked about some of it, so I'll briefly go through a few more things God showed me.

Now I know for a fact that God wants me in Colorado, and is going to get me there. All week long, Godly people were approaching me and telling me God has something big in store for me out there. On the last day, one of the teachers at Charis Bible College (someone who I had only just met and did not know my story at all) prayed over me and said, "This week God has given you many divine appointments," and, "God is opening doors for you which no man can shut." Wow...and this at the end of a week full of both of those happening nearly every day.

During the week, God not only encouraged me, but also convicted me. Since last winter I have been getting into drinking despite knowing my bad family history with alcohol. Earlier this summer God let me know it wasn't a good idea and that I shouldn't take part in something that has hurt my family so much already...but I ended up ignoring this after a while. This week God brought back the same point He already made and said it with such force that I've been totally freed from it; not that I was being controlled by it, but rather freed from following that path at all. My roommate Justin's jaw dropped last night when I came home and dumped half a bottle of Jager down the drain. Both of my roommates are excited about it and are very supportive of God doing this in my life, which is great. Today I told my mom about all this so that I wouldn't have to keep it from her anymore. Needless to say, she's also really happy about it, haha.

On the bus coming home, I opened my Bible to the book of II Corinthians. I was looking specifically for the passage about Godly grief in chapter seven, but God took me elsewhere. After I didn't find what I was looking for in those words, I glanced over verse four of chapter seven:

"I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy."

This is Paul talking to the church in Corinth, but when I read it again, God spoke to me:

"Casey, I am acting with great boldness toward you, and I have great pride in you."

I was immediately comforted and started crying (to myself, of course...don't want to embarrass myself on the bus). Those words kept me going the entire trip home, even though I could hardly handle them.

God has definitely renewed me this week. I love what He's doing in me. I have a new desire to search His Word and a newfound trust in the power of the Holy Spirit in me.

Last night when I was thinking about these things, a verse popped into my head which I had heard many times, but which I now think I had gotten all wrong up until now.

"Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." I Corinthians 10:12-13

I used to think this was saying, "You can fight through every temptation. God gives you some way out in each situation; you just have to buckle down, hand on, and push through it." No. This is all about letting God take control. It doesn't say "a" way of escape, it says "the" way of escape. That way of escape is the Holy Spirit in you. Defeating temptation is not a matter of trying to use God's strength and just getting over it; it's allowing the Holy Spirit to take control and letting the temptation die as you look to Jesus' sacrifice and the freedom God has given you through it.

That seems to be all for now. I'm really excited to see when God will open the door fully so I can take one of the biggest steps of my entire life.

Peace.

Westward 2012, Garden of the Gods

So, I've hardly been in Colorado Springs for three days, and my mind has been blown. So many things have happened since arriving here two nights ago. I'm having a hard time finding words, really. I love this place, and I love the people I've met here.

This morning I hiked to a place called Garden of the Gods, then met one of my new friends, Andrew, in the afternoon to go bouldering in the park. Here are some pictures:

Besides being in a beautiful area, God has also been doing some serious work on me since I've been here, so thanks for your prayers. Yesterday I'm pretty sure I became Pentecostal. Much of the Christian community here is very charismatic and put full stock in the spiritual gifts. I've been wondering about those sort of things for some time now, but have had almost no chance to find out more in Lansing. Most of the people I've met here are students at Charis Bible College, which I think is a Pentecostal school. They talk about spiritual gifts and receiving the Holy Spirit like it's totally normal for Christians...so I thought this was a great opportunity to finally take a step of faith in that direction. I know I've received the Holy Spirit now (preparing myself for the flak from people back home for saying that...), and I've learned a lot more about the spiritual gifts even in this short time.

Also, I've noticed a vast difference in the Christian community here. People's speech is obviously dominated by Christ, and it doesn't feel awkward to bring up God in almost any conversation. Sadly, this is different from what I've experienced elsewhere. I just met more new friends today in a purely divine appointment, and we were all encouraged by each other so much it was ridiculous.

All of this makes me a little concerned about going back home. As far as what I've learned here, I know it's Scriptural because I've seen it before arriving in Colorado...I just needed to see it confirmed. The problem is that I won't really be able to learn more back home in my Christian community. I'll have to start listening to online sermons from the head guy at the college here, Andrew Wommack. I'm pretty concerned about what some people will say if they hear about me joining up with the Pentecostals since it's so different from Baptist practice, but I know God has my back. My faith has been seriously strengthened since coming here, and I know God won't let me be ashamed because of it.

I need to do a lot of praying and seeking God's will, but I'm almost certain that I'm going to move here soon, whatever "soon" means. Turns out the Andrew I went bouldering with today has almost the same passions and vision for ministry as I do. So much has been confirmed to me already on this trip...I can't wait to see what the rest of it brings.

Peace.