Monday, December 22, 2014

Resurrection

"He began to reflect: there was nothing foul, no bad act, but there were thoughts, bad thoughts, which were that all his present intentions - marrying Katyusha and giving the land away to the peasants - that all this was an unrealizable dream, that he would not carry it to its conclusion, that it was all artificial, unnatural, and that he ought to live as he had been living.

"There was no bad act, but there was something much worse than a bad act: there were those thoughts from which spring all bad deeds. A bad act may not be repeated, and one may repent of it; but evil thoughts generate all evil deeds.

"A bad act only smooths out the path for other bad acts; bad thoughts irresistibly drag one down that path."

~Tolstoy, "Resurrection"

So, there's that. I had no idea reading a Tolstoy book would have an impact on my spiritual life, and yet as I read it today I realised this is, in fact, the case. I have seen the truth of the above words in my own life. Life in Grand Rapids is easy and good, and I have become lazy in my mind and spirit here. I have finally seen some of the wickedness which has crept into my mind, and it pains me to realise I have left it alone for so long. I miss the teachings of Jesus, the words of life I have taken for granted, the community of the church. Having realised these things, now is the time for spiritual and physical action. Please pray for me as I seek God's guidance.

Peace.