Friday, December 27, 2013

Ice

Yesterday, the ice in the trees was breathtaking. The sun came out and shone upon them all, and the frozen twigs and branches sparkled in an unreal, almost mystical way. It was almost like watching spring happen early. A miniature spring, in fact, was happening: sunlight thawing the trees' fingertips, life forces swirling underneath the bark, stirred to awakening by the temporarily-forgotten sensation of warmth. A long winter's nap, disturbed until the next ice storm passes. Yet to a tree, this time is short. A brief opening of the eyes from slumber, only to see it is not yet time to wake.

There is a beauty in these slower processes which also exists in the faster ones, but those we overlook because they pass so quickly. We can sit and watch a sunset over a lake or mountain, but can we also gaze in awe upon the beauty in a passing stranger's eye? Someone dancing for a few seconds to a song without a care in the world; a drop of water landing in a puddle; two long-lost acquaintances embracing; a single stalk of grass swaying in the wind; a warm handshake from a new acquaintance; a laugh from across a coffee shop; a snowflake landing on your windshield, giving you a glimpse of a once-in-a-lifetime uniqueness before it melts away forever. These quick moments hold just as much beauty as anything else. They are just easier to miss.

Peace.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

The Mongolian Connection

So, I have always been a traveler. You could say I am afflicted with chronic wanderlust. I have often thought about living overseas for an extended amount of time. The idea of visiting a place for a few weeks does not particularly appeal to me as much as living somewhere for a few months, or even years. I want to really understand and experience any culture to which I am being introduced.

You may be surprised to hear in this context that I have never really wanted nor felt called to overseas missions work. It has not even mildly interested me in the past, even though I still plan on living in a different country (or countries) for several years of my life. Short-term missions in particular are what have made me dislike the idea of becoming a missionary. If I were to go into the mission field, it would be for an amount of time which would really get me into a culture, enough so I could be a citizen if I bothered with that process.

Due to its barren, wild landscape, interesting culture and history, and numerous important paleontological sites, Mongolia has always piqued my interest, one of the only Asian countries to do so.

This summer, a group called the Freedom Tour came through Lansing and held a weekend event at a local church. I attended on the last evening of it. During this time, they had everyone come up at least once to be prayed over and ask God for their calling, purpose, what they were made for, etc. Someone would be praying for you specifically and asking God for pictures and words about you, and another person would be writing it down. I went up for this. Among other things they said about me in which I could see God's truth, one of the words was something about being a light in Asia for God. They did say wheter anything which was prayed over me did or did not match up with what I already knew about God's calling for my life, pray about all of it. Since I had never considered missions work before (and especially not in Asia), I just took it in stride, although my mind went immediately to Mongolia as the only place which I would really consider.

Fast forward to this evening. I was at an event at the Furnace Prayer Room in East Lansing. A young man named Tyler was presenting something called the Ekballo Project, his idea for missions to the Himalayan region. During this time, I was reminded of what was said to me at the Freedom Tour event. I have become more acclimated to living in a more difficult situation, and although I have certain goals I am currently trying to attain, I would no longer put overseas missions out of the realm of possibility. With all of this in mind, I went up to the fellow after the presentation and prayer time was over and was about to ask if he could pray for me about this as a possibility for the future. Before I could ask, though, he said, "Have we met? Were you at the Freedom Tour this past year in Lansing?"

Whoa. As it turns out, this was in fact the same guy who had prayed over me at the event this summer! Now here I am asking for prayer about the very same things which were brought up at that time which are now in my head again. How very interesting.

Naturally, I would very much appreciate it if you all would pray God would guide me regarding the possibility of future missions to Mongolia. I will be praying a lot about it myself. Thank you.

Also, I finally have a job again! I am now working for Two Men and a Truck in Grand Rapids, where I will be living most of the week. My friend Andrew and I will hopefully be moved here fully in January.

Peace.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

The Rapture of the Forest

*This is an extended journal entry from my time in Idaho. I journaled nearly every single day. This entry was written after a walk along the road behind the farm.*

There is a single tree on the farm which is changing colours. Bright, flaming orange, and kind of scrawny.

Sometimes I pretend the clouds are mountains.

Sometimes I imagine the world is moving below the clouds instead of them above the earth. Walking becomes a totally different experience.

As I walked down the road, I realised the raven I heard behind me was catching up. I turn around to look for it, and its calls somehow passed me by, as if made by a phantom bird. Looking up, I see the black phantom high above me, higher than I thought ravens were ever interested in flying. It floated in tight circles on thermals, quickly moving on toward the wilderness.

After finding a cold stream and a trail leading up into the mountains, I turned back. On the road, something happened. I stopped to listen to the rocks. When I did, the forest and rocks sang out for just a moment. The song was deafened in short order by one of the weightiest silences I have ever experienced.

That silence. It almost felt as if some primeval behemoth had me locked in its gaze. I couldn't move.

The Ancient approaches in the silence of the wilderness. You cannot escape. You cannot move. You can only know the Weight of the Presence.

Primeval is the best word. A great power, unknowable, older than the world. No evil intention, yet fear grips you.

A great Deep. Everything stills itself for what seems like an eternity, except the wind. The wind brings this Presence. To and fro it roams. We may not meet again for some time. You cannot search for and find the Presence; you can, however, go out to meet it. Where you meet it is not up to you.

Minutes passed, unmoving. I could have stood there for hours.

The burden grows. You realise it is real. Then it begins to fade, moving on past you. Something breaks you trance, and you realise the Presence is already gone. The dream has passed, and you have woken up. Perhaps, though, this is now the dream, and you had let reality take hold of you for just a moment; now it is gone, and you slumber peacefully, waiting for the wake-up call and that great Dread to find you once again.

Peace.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Solitude

So, not quite in contrast to my last post, but rather in spite of it, I have been feeling rather solitary since getting back from Idaho. We did not spend very much time around groups of people; it was really just Taylor, myself, and the farm owners most of the time. This probably had an effect on me. Fortunately, one result of this has been an increase in reading, which is great. I did not read for pleasure all through college, and it has taken some time for me to get back into the habit even after graduating. Since I have not spent much time around groups of people, I have also had a lot more time to think to myself. Being a natural introvert, all of this has been wonderful for me.

At the same time, it has felt a little strange. I have felt less inclined to take part in social situations. I suppose you could say I have been "peopled out." One-on-one time with friends has always appealed to me more, but now even more so than before. I do not think it is a bad thing, just a slight change.

I am still reading through some works of Thoreau, and probably will continue for some time. So far, he has really hit home in me with a lot of his ideas about nature and life. He strongly thinks that what happens to a man in nature can almost never be bad. Mosquitoes, cold weather, damp clothes...he practically embraces these experiences. The crazy part is...I feel similarly. We think that warmth and little work are the best ways to live; I would rather say many "comforts" keep us from actually living. To me, the wind howling through the treetops is a better comfort than the air conditioner on a hot day; a walk in the rain better than reclining on a couch; sleeping on the ground better than in a bed; the bite of a mosquito better than spending my days protected from the world; soggy shoes better than feet which are only used to go to work and back.

"Cold and damp are as rich experiences as warmth and dryness." ~ Thoreau

When you remove the mindset of "cold and damp are bad things and must be avoided at all costs," it really changes how you live. You become less afraid of "uncomfortable" experiences, and even begin to embrace them. Not only are those things full of their own richness of experience (strange as that may seem to some), but they serve to magnify the experiences we normally seek out. Sitting in front of a fire reading a book is infinitely more enjoyable and relaxing after a hard day's work in the field with wet shoes, for example. Changing my perspective on comfort was a very important moment for me, and it is continually helping me to live life more fully.

Peace.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Happiness

So, as explained extensively in my last post, I feel bit different since returning from Idaho. One of ways this has been manifesting is in my general attitude on life. I may not sound much different to some, but inside I feel much more content with life. Life just seems better, more do-able. Maybe it is a result of all the other things which I realised while I was out West, or maybe it is a separate product of the trip, but I just plain feel better. Things which used to bother me a lot have much less of an effect on me. I also used to be very self-conscious, often thinking I was a bother to others or I had to be funny or useful to prove myself to those around me. My time in Idaho turned out to be a big self-esteem booster. Now, I understand more of my value as a person and son of God.

To be honest, I cannot recall when I have been so optimistic about life. Perhaps this is a result of dealing with a suicide while I was in Idaho; perhaps it was making the decision to move there and following through with it; perhaps it stems from all the reading I have been doing; perhaps it is through becoming reconnected to my lifelong dreams. Whatever the cause, I feel much more capable to succeed in life, and the little things which normally get in the way are unable to bring me down.

Thank You, God, for whatever You have done in me.

Peace.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Westward 2013, debrief

SO, blogosphere, it appears that the King of the Wild Frontier has returned from his latest adventure and is ready to resume his online thought processing!

Most of you have heard my trip to Idaho was full of rewarding work and beautiful scenery. I could stop there, and it would be entirely accurate...but for those who want more, allow me to expound.

The trip out was an experience in and of itself. My friend Taylor and I camped in National Forests for free most of the way. We heard wolves in the mountains near one campsite, slept practically on the Continental Divide, and paid an arm and a leg to do next to nothing in Yellowstone National Park.

Once we got to the farm, things got even better. It was situated between three separate ranges of the Rockies (the Selkirks, Purcells, and Cabinets), and was far from any serious human clutter and noise. There was a small line of mountains right behind the farm, and I summited two of the peaks in one day: Line Point and Goat Mountain. Unfortunately, I neglected to plan well enough and almost had to spend the night on a mountainside in grizzly bear country. Heh, whoops.

The job itself was great. Good, hard work four days a week, and three-day weekends. I also realised how much farm work of this sort suits me. This should not have come as a surprise to me, as almost my entire family is comprised of farmers going back generations. I would strongly consider working for a similar farm (or even the same one) full-time whenever I settle down.

Our time on the farm (Ronniger's Organics, in case you were wondering) did include one very untimely event, though. Another intern who had been working there since around May shot and killed himself in his own cabin, which was just a hundred or so yards from our cabin and the owners' home. This came as a shock to everyone, and made things hard for quite some time. I have never dealt with death before, and especially not suicide. I am unsure what else to say about it, really...I was not particularly close to him, but our boss Simon was good friends with him, and he took it very hard for a while. Taylor and I just tried to keep our minds off it.

Changing topics completely now, I kept a journal every single day of the trip except five days while we were at the Barter Faire, which I will discuss later. Journaling regularly is something I have always wanted to do, but have never felt quite able or motivated enough to actually accomplish. It truly helped me to process my thoughts on a daily basis, kept me reading and writing, and strengthened my resolve to pursue some of my personal goals. I may post one or two journal entries here when I get the chance. I used my journal to also practice writing in general, and it is full of edits, so the posts will not be as raw as they are in their current state.

As I mentioned, I also read quite a bit. I finished "Into the Wild" by John Krakauer, the story of Chris McCandless, who abandoned everything he had after college to search for something...purpose, himself, the meaning of life, a real existence, God...he died alone in the Alaskan wilderness. His search, though, resounded in my soul, and showed what one young man can (and cannot) do if he sets his mind to it.

Next, I read "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek," an abstract Christian nature theology book by Annie Dillard which explores both the wonder and horror displayed in Creation. Very interesting and even beautiful at times, but very difficult to read. The descriptions of her experiences with the Spirit of God in nature really hit home in me.

A book which I have been trying to read for almost two years now, "'Hunting Trips of a Ranchman' and 'The Wilderness Hunter'" by Theodore Roosevelt, saw its completion on this trip. Roosevelt's descriptions of the West and life on the old prairie are the stuff of legend: tales of hunting grizzly bears, sleeping in buffalo robes, and heading out on horseback for days with nothing but a blanket, a gun, and some bread and water.

I also began reading some Henry David Thoreau, whose writings were referenced by Krakauer and Dillard. His longings for solitude in nature, yet also true friendship, also echo deep in my soul. I have yet to finish the compilation of his works I am reading, though, so I have not fully developed my thoughts on him yet.

Now, before finishing up, let me quickly explain the Barter Faire, which I mentioned in passing earlier. It is actually called the Okanogan Family Faire, and is located roughly in central Washington. The fair takes place over about five days, and is a combination of a giant farmers' market, a music festival, a county fair, and a hippie festival...and I am very serious about the hippies. This place was almost like a dream come true for me: trading vegetables for other goods, working and having fun at the same time, and giant, intense drum circles all night long. Yes, drum circles. The event was basically the end of our time working at the farm, and certainly was a great way to finish the season, as Simon told us it would be.

All in all, my time in Idaho served to shape me more fully as a man. I will always have room to grow, of course, but I can identify very specific areas of growth. First, again as mentioned earlier, my resolve was strengthened. Through helping me identify what I truly value in life (that is, who and whose opinions are important to me, my true passions and life goals, and the lifestyle I want to pursue), God strengthened my motivation to take certain steps. These include: moving out of the Lansing area and living with my friend Andrew (who is also trying to move forward in life and chase the westward dream), educating myself on geology and paleontology for now, and saving up to move to Durango, CO as soon as possible. Several occurrences prior to my departure and the lessons I learned while in Idaho have made it clear that the time to sit and wait is over: now is the time for action. So, Andrew and I are moving to Grand Rapids this January, where we will be working and getting ready to eventually move away.

Second, I learned about working hard and working over your scheduled time in order to complete a job. Perhaps it was easier because I enjoyed the job so much, but my time on the farm helped me understand the importance of work in life. I do not view work as a bad thing, or as something I must do in order to make a living, but rather as an opportunity to serve others and build up oneself at the same time. I used to complain about staying late at previous jobs, but now I see doing the work well and seeing it to completion is actually quite personally rewarding.

Third, making this trip happen was in itself a very important moment of growth. I have never done something this "crazy" before, but after being on the farm for a few weeks I realised it was not so crazy after all. In fact, it felt right...and almost normal. This realisation was very important for my life in the future. Now I can see doing things like this is both very possible and absolutely fantastic.

I hope this sheds more light on what the trip meant to me. Naturally, there is still much left unsaid, but such is life. I would like to express all the lessons I learned, ways I grew, and experiences I had to all of you, but I simply cannot. They are my own, and belong to no other.

Please, I urge you to take the step you are too afraid to take, shoot for the goal you think impossible, and make your own dreams come true. It can be done, and once you try, you will be living life on a new level. Then, the lessons, growth, and experiences will be all yours. Then, God will show you things about yourself you never imagined.

Peace.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Detroit

North I-75. Factories, industrial wasteland. Morning rush hour traffic. The sleep my body begs for is being kept at bay by a few sips of coffee from forty minutes ago.

Why am I driving? Friends, of course.

Seriously though, why am I awake right now? I'm driving through the city, I should be asleep, my back hurts...

The highway beneath me vaults upward. Is this a bridge? What am I driving over?

I summit the highway peak and look out over the cement valley.
The Detroit skyline. The bridge to Canada. The sun half-shining through a slit in the clouds above the city. The traffic rushes around me as the unexpectedly beautiful scene floats unmoving in my front windshield.

The natural beauty of God's creation shines in the sky above, and the beauty of God's creativity shines through the ingenuity of man. Beauty is everywhere.

Maybe I just need more sleep. My back hurts.

The picture is burned into my memory, though.

Peace.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Westward 2013, pre-launch

So, here we are again. The third summer's-end in a row I'm making a trip west. This trip is much different, though. Instead of a vacation, it is a work trip, a seasonal volunteer opportunity, a long road trip, a new temporary home, a chance to unplug myself from most technology and the rest of the world for a season.

The true reality of going to Idaho, however, is it will be a spiritual journey.

I am leaving behind the world I know: my job, my family, my state, my dear friends, my perspectives, most of my belongings, and maybe even a bit of my self. A different life awaits me on the opposite end of this journey. I do not know what it will look like, or if it will "look" different at all.

I will not be the same, though.

A friend told me this would be the case, but also explained how my old ways and thoughts will not be easily shaken off. Change, although encouraged by a new location and lifestyle, still does not come easy. It comes with a price.

I hope to spend a lot of time reading, writing (something I have not done much of before), making music, and experiencing God's beauty in the mountains. The same previously mentioned friend also told me to make intentional goals for my time there in order to get the most out of it and facilitate the change I desire. These goals are probably going to be related to the activities I just mentioned.

This weekend was a very emotional one for me. I hosted a send-off party at my house, and over thirty of my friends came to say goodbye. I received many kind words, and some meaningful gifts...the greatest of these was love. After almost everyone had gone, I realised how much I love my friends, and how much they love me. They truly are my family; not to diminish how much I value my family, but rather to say how much I value my friends. We treat each other as family.

Last night I took one final trip to Grand Rapids to support a friend who was performing a stand-up routine, and to see my best friend Korey. I don't often use specific names on this blog, purposefully so, but it is appropriate to mention him. We could not spend much time together, but it meant so much for us to see each other before I left. He also gave me some very meaningful gifts and words.

One friend commented on how we said goodbye as if we would never see each other again.

It is better to love fully, without holding back, than to keep it inside. Fear of rejection stifles the human desire to be vulnerable with each other.

A famous quote from C.S. Lewis:

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

God is slowly showing me what love without fear looks like. Perhaps this is what will be different about me when I return to Michigan once more (I was tempted to write "for the final time" instead of "once more"...a good friend once told me I am very dramatic, but it is a good thing because God made my personality this way, haha. Perhaps "final time" is too dramatic, but who knows?).

On a different note, I am moving out of Lansing today. Tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday I will be traveling around southeast Michigan: cutting bank ties and seeing a few more friends before I go. Friday and Saturday I will be spending some final time in northern Michigan, and Sunday will be a farewell cookout at my church and one last board game with some friends from Lansing.

Labor Day, Monday, September 2, we leave for Idaho.

I know many of you will want to know what is going on while I am there. I will likely not be blogging or using Facebook during my time on the farm, and I have no idea if I will be able to call people using my cell phone. When possible, I would like to send group e-mail updates to those who will read them. If you want, send me an e-mail soon so I can have a list of addresses ready before I leave. No promises on the frequency of these e-mails, but I will try my hardest to keep you informed.

butlerc777@gmail.com

Your prayers are appreciated. Thank you.

Peace.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Idaho

So, as a number of you already know, I recently had an amazing opportunity present itself to me. One of my friends from Spring Arbor called me up Sunday night, asking if I wanted to work on an organic farm in Idaho with him from September to December. Needless to say, I wanted to give him a "Yes!" right then and there, but a number of things had to be sorted out first.

I have spent this whole week thinking and praying about this, trying to sort out my options, and thinking about my job, housing, financial, and ministry situations...and now, at the end of this week, I have decided to go all in on this adventure. My mom and pastor are in support of me going (which are both very important to me), and I've put in my two week notice at Preuss Pets. The right steps have been taken as much as possible, and I'm ready to start preparing for the craziest thing I've ever done.

We will be leaving September 2, taking a week to have a fantastic road trip out there: South Dakota, Grand Teton, Yellowstone, the Montana Rockies. The farm itself is in the northern end of the Idaho panhandle, twenty miles from Canada, and right next to Glacier National Park. Each workday will be done by 4pm, we will be housed in a cabin with a wood-burning stove, all our food will be provided, and we will have three-day weekends. Can you say, "road trips every weekend?"

All in all, this is going to be amazing. I've been looking for opportunities to get away from everything, particularly seasonal jobs like this. I feel I function better in short-term jobs...maybe it's a result of working at camp for too many summers.








One thing in particular I'm very excited about is the alone time I will have. It's been too long since I've disconnected from everything. I'll have a lot of time to connect with God in the mountains, to work on music, to read...to just enjoy life.

I will be coming back to Michigan probably via train in December; my friend will be looking for other opportunities elsewhere. When I get back, I will work on finishing up the albums for which I've been trying to raise support, and looking for a new job and place to live. I still don't know exactly where I will go once I'm back home: my family's house in Williamston is where I will go initially, but I will probably be looking for jobs in other parts of the state as soon as I can. My time in the Lansing area is coming to an end. My church will be waiting for my return, and I will be there for a time as the worship leader again, although I do not yet have a guess for how long. I'm trying not to think too hard about what December will bring, though.

Anyway, I'm very excited about this whole thing. I feel it's a very good and important step in the right direction. I want to be able to make at least a little time for anyone who wants to see me before I leave, so let me know! Tonight, I will be at Center Lake Bible Camp to say goodbye to my former employers, who are going on their own journey to work at a camp in Santa Fe. Lots of people I know will be there, and, without trying to steal the moment, I will have a chance to say goodbye to many of them as well.

Your prayers are appreciated.

Peace.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Walking with the Ancients

The steady crashing of waves on sandstone woke me from a light sleep. The sun was already up over Superior, and we had to make a quick breakfast before continuing our trek along the lakeshore.

Pack the tents, clean the campsite, start walking.

The peace all around was breathtaking. No human noise except the sound of our feet trudging along the path; just waves, the wind through the trees, and birds ministering their morning songs to us.

A seagull cries overhead, and I appreciate it in its true home.

Hours pass with few breaks from hiking. In such a setting, cheap jerky and dried fruit make me feel like all is right with the world. Much beauty is passed by on a tiring journey.

I hear the throaty call of a raven, and stop to look up.

Now standing in an old-growth forest, I am dwarfed by those around me. The trees are old...very old. Their branches and trunks are covered in moss. I take a deep breath, and the musty yet pleasant aroma of hundreds of mushrooms takes over my senses.

The throne room of an ancient fay kingdom has appeared before me.

It seems as though God granted this place a special sense of ancient solitude. My companions were ahead somewhere, and I was along with God and His forest...my forest. This silent, hallowed woodland inspired a deep, emotional reverence in me to which few things in life can compare.

I walked out of the forest along the path, and resumed as though nothing had happened.

These moments, gifts from God, come frequently if you allow yourself to see beauty in all things. Enjoy them, thank God for them, but know they are fleeting on this earth.

One day He will come again and perfect us.

One day the earth will be made new.

One day beauty will no longer be elusive.

One day.

Peace.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Your kingdom come

"Your kingdom come."

Not my kingdom: His. Jesus did not tell us to pray, "God make my plans happen so I can glorify You through them." Nope. He told us to pray for the coming of His Father's kingdom. God's kingdom is already at hand and is here to some extent, but Jesus hasn't come back yet, so we are still to pray for His arrival.

 "Your kingdom come."

We also should pray for God's kingdom to continue manifesting here on earth before Jesus comes back. What is true about God's kingdom? There is no sickness, no pain, no oppression, no condemnation, no hatred...the list goes on. Although the fullness of these things won't be experienced until God's kingdom takes over everything and the world is made new, God loves breaking in and revealing bits and pieces of it to the world. Pray for this. Ask God for healing, for justice, for unity, for peace.

"The Spirit and the Bride say, 'Come.' And let the one who hears say, 'Come.'"

Come, Lord Jesus.

Peace.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Hallowed be Your Name

 "Hallowed be Your name."

Hallowed, according to Merriam-Webster:

Sacred, consecrated, holy, revered.

To me, "hallowed" has always been more of a picture and a feeling: a place of silence, pure shining light, a sense of awe, a feeling of deep power and reverence, great power, something to be respected and feared, set apart, not to be touched, tread on, or even spoken of by the unworthy, rest, peace, incomparable beauty, something priceless, one-of-a-kind, a sense of huge greatness and grandeur. All at the same time.

Think of God's name in this way, for that is just a taste of what it truly is.

"Hallowed be Your name."

God's name alone is hallowed. His name alone is worthy of praise.

"Therefore God has highly exalted him, and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." - Paul, Philippians 2

Wow. The first two phrases of Jesus' prayer are both repeated here in different words. God's name is above every other name, and His name alone has power.\

"Hallowed be Your name."

Taken from About.com:
  • Advocate - 1 John 2:1
  • Almighty - Revelation 1:8
  • Alpha - Revelation 1:8
  • Amen - Revelation 3:14
  • Angel of the Lord - Genesis 16:7
  • Anointed One - Psalm 2:2
  • Apostle - Hebrews 3:1
  • Author and Perfecter of our Faith - Hebrews 12:2
  • Beginning - Revelation 21:6
  • Bishop of Souls - 1 Peter 2:25
  • Branch - Zechariah 3:8
  • Bread of Life - John 6:35,48
  • Bridegroom - Matthew 9:15
  • Carpenter - Mark 6:3
  • Chief Shepherd - 1 Peter 5:4
  • The Christ - Matthew 1:16
  • Comforter - Jeremiah 8:18
  • Consolation of Israel - Luke 2:25
  • Cornerstone - Ephesians 2:20
  • Dayspring - Luke 1:78
  • Day Star - 2 Peter 1:19
  • Deliverer - Romans 11:26
  • Desire of Nations - Haggai 2:7
  • Emmanuel - Matthew 1:23
  • End - Revelation 21:6
  • Everlasting Father - Isaiah 9:6
  • Faithful and True Witness - Revelation 3:14
  • First Fruits - 1 Corinthians 15:23
  • Foundation - Isaiah 28:16
  • Fountain - Zechariah 13:1
  • Friend of Sinners - Matthew 11:19
  • Gate for the Sheep - John 10:7
  • Gift of God - 2 Corinthians 9:15
  • God - John 1:1
  • Glory of God - Isaiah 60:1
  • Good Shepherd - John 10:11
  • Governor - Matthew 2:6
  • Great Shepherd - Hebrews 13:20
  • Guide - Psalm 48:14
  • Head of the Church - Colossians 1:18
  • High Priest - Hebrews 3:1
  • Holy One of Israel - Isaiah 41:14
  • Horn of Salvation - Luke 1:69
  • I Am - Exodus 3:14
  • Jehovah - Psalm 83:18
  • Jesus - Matthew 1:21
  • King of Israel - Matthew 27:42
  • King of Kings - 1 Timothy 6:15; Revelation 19:16
  • Lamb of God - John 1:29
  • Last Adam - 1 Corinthians 15:45
  • Life - John 11:25
  • Light of the World - John 8:12; John 9:5
  • Lion of the Tribe of Judah - Revelation 5:5
  • Lord of Lords - 1 Timothy 6:15; Revelation 19:16
  • Master - Matthew 23:8
  • Mediator - 1 Timothy 2:5
  • Messiah - John 1:41
  • Mighty God - Isaiah 9:6
  • Morning Star - Revelation 22:16
  • Nazarene - Matthew 2:23
  • Omega - Revelation 1:8
  • Passover Lamb - 1 Corinthians 5:7
  • Physician - Matthew 9:12
  • Potentate - 1 Timothy 6:15
  • Priest - Hebrews 4:15
  • Prince of Peace - Isaiah 9:6
  • Prophet - Acts 3:22
  • Propitiation - I John 2:2
  • Purifier - Malachi 3:3
  • Rabbi - John 1:49
  • Ransom - 1 Timothy 2:6
  • Redeemer - Isaiah 41:14
  • Refiner - Malachi 3:2
  • Refuge - Isaiah 25:4
  • Resurrection - John 11:25
  • Righteousness - Jeremiah 23:6
  • Rock - Deuteronomy 32:4
  • Root of David - Revelation 22:16
  • Rose of Sharon - Song of Solomon 2:1
  • Ruler of God's Creation - Revelation 3:14
  • Sacrifice - Ephesians 5:2
  • Savior - 2 Samuel 22:47; Luke 1:47
  • Second Adam - 1 Corinthians 15:47
  • Seed of Abraham - Galatians 3:16
  • Seed of David - 2 Timothy 2:8
  • Seed of the Woman - Genesis 3:15
  • Servant - Isaiah 42:1
  • Shepherd - 1 Peter 2:25
  • Shiloh - Genesis 49:10
  • Son of David - Matthew 15:22
  • Son of God - Luke 1:35
  • Son of Man - Matthew 18:11
  • Son of Mary - Mark 6:3
  • Son of the Most High - Luke 1:32
  • Stone - Isaiah 28:16
  • Sun of Righteousness - Malachi 4:2
  • Teacher - Matthew 26:18
  • Truth - John 14:6
  • Way - John 14:6
  • Wonderful Counselor - Isaiah 9:6
  • Word - John 1:1
  • Vine - John 15:1 
Think on some of these names. Look up the passages attached to them. Remind yourself of Who God has been in your life. What name have you or can you personally given to God by which you can praise Him?

Peace.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Our Father in heaven

So, I am working through a sort of assignment which was given to me (really, an excellent study project).

Go through each phrase of our Lord's prayer in Matthew chapter six, and ask God to help you understand what each part means and why He put it there. Jesus didn't waste words, after all, so everything in this prayer which He taught His disciples must have great significance.

"Our Father in heaven."

God really is our Father. He is the perfect fulfillment of what a father should be. He loves His children perfectly. He cares for His children perfectly, giving them exactly what He knows they need, and not necessarily what they think they need. He disciplines His children, but out of a perfect love for them. He protects His children. He gives perfect guidance, counsel, and comfort to His children. We can take our requests to Him with confidence because of His love for us.

"Our Father in heaven."

However, we can't physically see Him. We are not able to walk up to Him and give Him a big hug. In certain ways, we are temporarily separated from Him while we are on earth, even thought His Spirit dwells in us. He is perfectly holy, unlike an earthly father. He is greater and more powerful than all. He orchestrates His will from a heavenly, eternal perspective, with His glory in mind. His plans are far beyond ours. He demands holiness from His people, not because He is a tyrant, but because anything unholy would vanish in His presence.

He demands holiness and obedience because He is our Father Who loves us, and He wants us to be with Him.

Peace.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day

So, if you read my last post, you know that I was about to try to contact my real dad. Last Monday, I called him. This is pretty much how the conversation went:

"Hey, it's me Casey."

"Casey.......I'm so glad you had the heart to call me, because I just couldn't call you."

"Oh...well, yeah, I was thinking about heading out your way tomorrow or sometime this week; are you free sometime so I can see you?"

"Yeah, my buddy Terry and I are going out to the Wooden Nickel in Dansville right now, and you should come meet us there! That way there will be an extra person, and it won't be as tense."

"Wellll.....alrighty then. See you there!"

To keep it short, I was able to have some time talking with my dad: I told him I forgive him for anything that happened in the past, I don't hold anything against him, and I want to be his son...which is just what he wanted, too. There was lots of hugging. We both agreed that we just want to put the past behind us and be family from now on. The timing was so perfect...we were both ready for it.

Today I got to call him to wish him the first Happy Father's Day I've ever really been able to give, and we talked for a while again. I'm really happy to actually have a more real family now.

God is a good Father.

Peace.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Reconciliation time

So, God is good. I'll just start with that. I had a crazy and excellent weekend, and the crazy is still continuing. I now have a mentor at least for the summer, which is something I've been needing for a while. Thank You Lord. The same day that happened, I also had a very good talk with a friend which, among other great Jesus-things, got me motivated to get in contact with my dad. That's something I've been putting off for months now, but God has confirmed several times that it's finally the right time to sit down and talk with him.

So, thanks to my Uncle Tony, I have my dad's address and phone number. It's going to be awkward, for sure...but so far my uncles have given me enough encouragement, God has confirmed it, and my peers have pushed me enough to prove that it will be good anyway. Next week I'm going to call him and set up a day to go talk to him. Prayers are appreciated.





Last night, Jesus let me know how important this is to him. Of all the things I worry and pray about, He said this one takes precedence. Moving out West, relationships, all that stuff takes a back seat right now to reconciling with my dad. He said that we have a lot to work on, and this is the first thing. So, that's where I'm putting it. I've never had a very good chance to honour my dad as I'm told to do in Scripture, and now it's time.

Also, I received a prophetic picture on Saturday that God has ALREADY confirmed this week...didn't take very long at all. It has to do with how God is using me in my friendships. If you want to know more you can ask me personally, haha, but it just adds to the cool things God is doing.

Good stuff. God stuff. I love it.

Peace.

Monday, April 22, 2013

New job!

So, this is my last week moving furniture for a living, and next week I will start cleaning people's aquariums for a living! I got the job I applied for at Preuss Pets, the best pet store in Michigan. I will be taking a financial hit by working there; however, the work environment and the other staff more than make up for the loss.

This past weekend was a pretty interesting one. There were a couple Christian conferences I went to, which is something I haven't really done before. God taught me how He has freed me from the addictions, fears, and other things that have harmed people in my family...and me. That was something I REALLY needed to hear. He also keeps showing me that He really wants to make things right between my real dad and I, and that He has prepared both of our hearts for it. My uncles on that side of my family also seem to think it's the right time, and have been asking me more and more at family events if I have talked to him yet, haha.

I am now looking at getting to Colorado next spring. The Preuss job will pay less, but I almost have the amount saved that I wanted to by May anyway, so as long as I continue saving money, even small amounts, I will have enough saved for whenever Jesus does send me out there. Until then, Jesus is rockin' house here in Lansing, and I am excited about it! We're hoping to turn the house I'm in into a prayer and worship house. AWESOME.

Also, I will now have weekends a lot more freed up due to getting a new job and Friday night plans changing a bit, so my roommate Garrett and I are planning to have REGULAR short-term camping trips. He's from Colorado (ironic...) and is super outdoorsy like me, so we both need to get out of the city as much as possible. Things are looking good!

Peace.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Delivery Driver

So, life has been pretty interesting lately. I've been delivering furniture for Aaron's for almost six months now, and it has definitely...paid well enough. Doing this job has been very stressful, though. It's never particularly the job itself, or even the customers...the store I work for is just disorganised to the point of seriously stressing me out nearly every day. Needless to say, when I saw Preuss Pets in Lansing was hiring an aquarium maintenance technician last week, I immediately sent them my resume. The job would be similar to what I'm doing now, but instead of delivering furniture to people's homes, I would be fixing and maintaining aquariums and delivering fish, ha! I will be taking somewhat of a financial hit with this job if they hire me, but the work schedule looks better, Preuss is not known for disorganisation, and I would be working with animals, all of which are HUGE draws for me.

Three interviews later as of right now, I'm waiting to see what God does with this. I'm kind of nervous because I don't entirely know how taking this job will affect me. I do know that I don't have the strength to mess up God's plan, so whatever happens, I know He will make things work for His glory.

More news: I've moved back into Lansing this month, and will most likely be here for a while. I moved into a rental house where one of my friends lives, and I signed a lease until August 15. If I end up working for Preuss, I will probably sign the lease again for another six months and stay until next year. If I stay at Aaron's, leaving for Colorado is still a possibility at the end of my current lease...or you know, if Jesus does something crazy and sends me out there at some time I don't expect, haha! That is more likely than you or I think.

Anways, like I've said before, God is doing a lot of cool things in Lansing that I didn't think I would see in my time here. My church is putting a huge focus on knowing the Holy Spirit more right now, which caught me WAY off guard, and it's been super awesome! God is also cultivating a new life in me, which has also been great. I've been able to give up a lot of parts of my life to Him that I never thought I could give to Him...or would ever want to give to Him. God has been confirming these new works quite a bit, and I'm pretty excited to see what's in store! Your prayers are VERY much appreciated.

Peace.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Pictures

So, things have been getting crazy at the Furnace prayer room I've been going to lately. God has been building me up, teaching me, and drawing me closer to Himself in this short time...more so than I expected would ever happen in any less than a year, ha. I've been learning the importance of allowing God to speak His truths to us through our imaginations. Kind of a weird thought at first, but man, God has done some pretty cool things through this. The director of the Furnace told me today it would be a good idea to write these down, so here we go.

At the Collegiate Day of Prayer nearly a month ago, I was having a hard time worshiping for some reason. I was just distracted and couldn't focus on God as much as I wanted to. As I tried to focus on Him, I suddenly got a picture in my head, like I was standing a few feet back looking at myself. Everything started to get darker, including myself, as I watched. It felt like there was a huge pressure building inside me, and little beams of light started to crack out of my body as I watched. It was like the power and light of the whole sun was just barely being contained inside me...the Holy Spirit. That's what He's like. God used that to re-focus me on Him so I could worship Him without being distracted. Then, a couple minutes later when I sat down, the same thing happened again. This time, I could feel the pressure rise even more, and all of a sudden....BOOM! I watched myself explode in a ball of light! Whoa. That is the kind of light that is in us as children of God: explosive, all-encompassing, unstoppable light. Wow.

A couple Mondays ago, I was worshiping at the Furnace, and praying that God would heal me because I was really sick. I pictured myself before the throne of God and the Lamb Who was wounded so I could be healed. As I pictured Jesus as the Lamb...He looked at me, and I could feel it. Then He started walking toward me from the throne. Whoa. As if that wasn't enough...I could feel the Holy Spirit in me focus His attention on me, and then the Father put His gaze upon me. WHOA. I felt the weight of the gaze of the Almighty God bearing down on me in love and majesty, and it was almost too much to handle. Wow, God loves me and each one of His children SO MUCH! I spent half of the rest of my time there unable to stop shaking, haha. Definitely the most spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically intense experience I've ever had.

Just last night I spent a long time talking and praying with my good friend Justin. During that time, God used him to really convict me about a part of my life that he knew was really causing me stress because I hadn't given it to God yet. We talked it out for quite a while, and God softened my heart enough so that I was finally ready to fully give it over to Him (I know this is vague, but it's close to my heart, and this was even harder to give to Him than Colorado was). After we prayed and asked God to take my plans and expectations, I sat up and got a picture of Jesus standing before me. He looked at me and gave a kind of sideways smile. He was holding the plans I just gave Him, and I got the impression that He was incredibly excited that I had finally given them up to Him. He had been waiting for years (which is nothing to Him, I know) for this, and after He showed me how excited He was, He turned and immediately began working on His own plan for me. Awesome. People I met today commented on how I looked a lot happier than previously, like my face was shining, haha. Well, it's hard, but everything is better when you surrender to Jesus's plan and don't keep anything from Him.

There's more...but these are some of the more intense and personally meaningful pictures God has shown me. Pretty sweet. God likes to use our imaginations to reveal more of His beauty and love, and to show us things we can't physically see. I love it.

Peace.

Lansing...again?

So, I just moved back home almost two months ago. Living at home has been great. Being around my family more, eating homecooked meals, saving money on food and rent, and being in the country...all great things. Driving to Lansing pretty much every day kind of sucks, though, and in a few months when my old roommates move, I won't be able to bum a couch in South Lansing to save gas money.

The other day I visited a friend who lives near downtown Lansing. As I walked around the main floor of his house, I discovered a very, very small, empty bedroom. I asked him about it, and he explained that the landlord had been looking for someone to fill it, that he was a Christian, and this is one of four houses he owns in Lansing which he calls Intentional Faith Communities. After telling me about his current housemates, I started getting all sorts of great ideas about the house and saw a huge potential for what Jesus could do there. I voiced all of this to him, and he said:

"Yup. I've been thinking and praying about all those same things for a while now, and I've just been waiting for someone to come alongside and help."

Whoa.

God has made it very clear that until He gets me to Colorado on His time, I need to not only wait, but also look for why He hasn't taken me there already. So far I've had a hard time seeing the purpose for staying...but this opportunity might at least be part of it. I've been trying to set up a time to meet with his landlord and talk cost for the room, and also calculating out whether or not I could/should rent the room. So far, it looks like something I can do. I would be less than fifteen minutes away from pretty much everything I do in Lansing, and would be able to work more overtime at work (which they're always asking me to do).

I really don't like living in the city, but I'm actually excited for the opportunity presented here. Jesus has really big plans for that house, and I would love to be a part of it.

Peace.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Spring to summer, fatherless to Fathered

So, this post will have a little more thought put into it than my last couple, which have mostly been blurted ideas or vague descriptions of what I've seen God doing lately. Yay for clarity!

First, let it be known that I'm probably not going to Colorado in May/June, like I was talking about. After some thoughts, prayers, and remembering other things God has said to me since I got back from my original trip out there, I've decided it would be better to wait until God presents the right moment instead of forcing His hand. It would also be really nice to have enough extra money to make sure my van is in top condition for making the journey and staying alive once I'm out there, haha.

Soon after I got back to Michigan, I had plenty of people (including people with no invested interest in keeping me around) telling me, "Wow, it sounds like God is definitely going to get you out there! Now, just don't rush His timing!" He's clearly given me confirmation after confirmation that He is going to bring me there...so why should I try to push the timing along myself? God's timing is perfect, and mine is not, so I will trust Him and see what He has in store. My personality leans really heavily toward running away to adventure...so I have to watch out for that in myself. The summer camp I was looking at seemed really awesome, but it never really seemed like it was an opportunity from God, even though I tried really hard to convince myself of it, haha.

All that being said, I'm still praying for August as the date to leave, but I've also given it to God so I don't idolize that time or freak out at Him if it doesn't happen. Who knows? He may have a much better time planned.

I mentioned previously that God has been teaching me lately how He is my Father. After doing a short study on the instances of God being referred to as Father in Scripture, one thing that stood out in connection with those references was God as Teacher. I never had a dad growing up to teach me how to be a Godly man, so seeing this connection has been really helpful. In Matthew chapter twenty-three, Jesus tells us not to call anyone Rabbi, Father, or Teacher, other than Himself/God, because He alone is truly all of those to us. Whoa. God is the One Who can teach us best. He alone is free from error, always truthful, and always looking out for our best interests. Who is a better choice to teach children how to live and grow than their only true Father? No one. God wants us all to grow up together as images of Him on earth. Jesus, our co-heir in the inheritance of the Father, and in a way our big Brother, came first as the perfect example of how to live in our Father's will and thus bring glory to Him.

God gives good gifts to His children (the best, in fact), and what's better is that He always knows exactly what we need most. Even though it may not seem like what we need (especially if it's more like His discipline), our Father only gives good and perfect gifts, and all of them work for the good of His children and for His glory. Wow, what an awesome family we're a part of!

Our Father wants us to rest in His loving arms as His children, knowing we are safe and secure from everything. He runs out to meet us where we are, throwing His robe around us, placing rings on our fingers, and preparing a feast for us with Him at His table. Wow, does He love us! The Creator of the universe, the Great Physician, mighty God, everlasting Father, Prince of peace, Lord of lords, the great I AM...He wants us to be His children, and He loves us. Whoa. If God wants to be our Father, and is the ultimate, perfect fulfillment of what it means to be a father...I still don't get it, haha, but man, that's crazy.

Peace.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Whoa.

So, God is awesome. He's really been changing my heart the past few weeks, and I'm really not sure where to start talking about it.

I've been asking God to teach me how He is my Father. God has really opened my eyes up to what it means to be His son through this...and that has been ENORMOUSLY freeing! Wow. Even in just the past couple days, God has been freeing me and giving me boldness for Him. There's been a lot of changes in my thoughts and heart that only God could do.

God has really shown me how to love Him. I didn't know how to love God for a long time...Him being Someone that I can't actually see. He's really been working in my heart to teach me how, and it's been pretty sweet! One thought I've had for a while now is that God has finally helped me to understand a lot of worship songs that I hear bands play, haha.

Some people got healed at the prayer room the other night. Awesome. I haven't actually been around someone getting healed before, and after God healed a couple people while we were praying for them, it seemed strangely...normal, and totally right.

It's been so good to see God really moving in Lansing, setting fires in people's hearts. I will be sad to leave when I go to Colorado, but I trust Jesus when He said, "My Father is always working, and so am I." God is doing crazy awesome things everywhere, we just don't always see them.

Peace.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Possibilities...

So, here I am, filling out an application for a camp in Colorado. Whoa. I discovered a great-looking camp near Colorado Springs, and if they like my application, I may be moving there as soon as the end of this coming May. That's only three months away!!! This is bizarre.

This evening I calculated out roughly how much I SHOULD and CAN have saved by May. I can have upwards of $1400 in savings by May 11 if I am very, very wise with my money. That will easily get me to Colorado...or at least it should, haha. Defnitely more money than I thought I could have before I did the math.

Now, I was originally planning on moving in August. Getting a job at this camp would mean bumping that up by three months...and halving the time I have left in Michigan. This means I really need to spend quality time with my family and start preparing myself to move far away.

Lots of thoughts. I just can't wait to get out there.

Peace.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Treasure Hunt!

So, this was an interesting weekend.

First, I have more of an answer to the college ideas I was having earlier this week. I will probably not be pursuing more education just yet, probably not for at least a year. As I researched the colleges I was looking at and tuition fees, I realised I would have to pay a TON more as a non-resident...a status I will not be able to change until I've lived in Colorado for a year. Ick. Even if I was to take community college courses in Colorado Springs instead of going straight to Durango for college, it would still cost me over double the normal cost for residents.

My mom, in her wisdom, also reminded me that after people have finished their first degree and are working full-time jobs (that would be me now...), they have to just take classes when they can and sacrifice their social time after work for study time. I was looking at the situation like I could just go back to school somewhere...but I wouldn't be able to get nearly as much financial aid, and if I'm a full-time student, I just won't be able to pay for college without help or a good job. I still have a lot of growing up to do.

Second, today my roommate Justin took me to something called a "treasure hunt" around MSU campus. Last week, he met a bunch of new people who go to a place called "The Furnace," a little prayer room in a basement on Grand River across from MSU which is dedicated to praying for and evangelising campus, particularly through bringing together the campus ministries and giving them one roof to meet under. Little place with a big mission...I like it.

Anyway, these people are CRAZY about Jesus in a way I haven't seen since I was in Colorado. We met in the prayer room, and the leader(?), Garrett, got things rolling. We asked God to show us what He wanted us to see: names of people, descriptions of people, places, illnesses, and anything else, and wrote everything down that came to mind. Then we compared lists to see if anyone had matching items, separated into two groups, and went to the places we had written down.

Sound silly yet? Well, God did awesome things with this fun little thing.

Among other things, Garrett had written "big wooden doors," I had "across the street," and Justin wrote "MSU Credit Union." Justin was the only one of us who knew that the place he had written down was across the street and had big wooden doors. Ha. The three of us made our own group and went over, looking for people who might match anything on our lists. As we walked around upstairs, Justin approached a fellow who matched a few things he had written, and we followed. He was in a small study group with two others. As it turned out, the guy said he was a Christian, and one of the other students with him was one of the names on Justin's list, as well. We came to find out that this other student was an atheist, and ended up having a really great talk with him about God's love, Christian stewardship, and the Bible. I think all of us (including the atheist) were very surprised to walk away very happy we had talked.

The same student who said he was an atheist also had a problem with his eye which we all prayed for, but didn't see any healing with it at the time. However, Garrett did got a sort of vision from God and saw what it was like to see out of the student's injured eye, and the student confirmed that was indeed what he normally sees. Crazy! I think God is going to move in his heart through all this.

So, with this silly little game we were playing with God (yes, I would call it that; God is our Father, and He does enjoy playing with His children), we got to encourage a few people and even be encouraged by them in return. God was there the whole time, as He always is.

I believe this happens pretty much every Sunday afternoon from 2pm to 4pm. Tomorrow night, they have a big prayer meeting which I'll also be attending. The people I met know God more than I do, and they have joy overflowing, which is pretty hard to find among Christians now. God has already shown a lot to Justin this week when he spent time with them. I think I'll give it a shot and see what God has in store.

Peace.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

I think I need professional help...

So, I haven't posted in a while. That's ok. My new job is going very well, and I've been getting closer to God together with my roommate Justin. God has taught us so much by making us live together, haha.

Life is generally going quite well. I'm still working on saving money for the big move this summer. I'm moving home from Lansing by the end of this month. My family and close friends are supportive of all this, which is great. I'm trying to learn Irish, practicing guitar and singing all the time...the usual.

However, I recently caught a bad bug...one that I've had before, and one that I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully get rid of. It's the "Man, I really wish I had a geology degree" bug. Since as far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a geologist, specifically a paleontologist. Jurassic Park is my favorite movie ever (Dr. Grant, naturally, being my favorite character). I never got out of the dinosaur phase. If you know me or have read this blog for a while, you probably know that I tried going back to school last year in hopes that I could eventually get a degree in geology or some kind of wildlife science...and if you knew all that, you also know that I didn't follow through with it. I realised that it was better to get a job right now and save money. Glad I made that choice, but I still can hardly stop thinking about pursuing more education eventually.

I kind of feel like an addict...except it's to learning, not an illegal substance.

It's very likely that I will end up in a city called Durango. My new friend Andrew will be moving there once he graduates from Charis Bible College next year, and since my goal is to start an outdoor discipleship ministry with him, I don't see why I wouldn't also move there. My plan was originally to move to Colorado Springs from Michigan, then go to Durango whenever he did. However, I found a place called Fort Lewis College in Durango which looks like it has an amazing geology program, and it's really tempting me to just move straight there. Andrew would be able to help me find a place to stay, so that's not a huge issue. The real issue is whether or not I should try to go back to school...again.

Your prayers and advice are appreciated.

Peace.