So, I would like this to be short, but either way, I want to get this out of my head and onto...something, as I've been thinking about it for a while now. I've always thought of "masks" in certain ways (and I'm not referring to Halloween disguises, I'm talking about the fronts people put up to keep others from getting too close): the "everything in my life is just great" mask common at church on Sundays, the mask of makeup many girls wear to make themselves look "better," etc. I had always thought myself to be mask-free; I have discovered, unfortunately, that I have one of my own. It's called the "I am rough, tough, and immoveable, and I feel no pain" mask. The "jerk" mask, the typical "man" mask, but not one which I realized I was wearing until now. I've realized I put on this mask at certain times, mostly when I'm around girls. It's not even necessarily whether I am somewhat attracted to a girl or not; I just feel inadequate around certain people, so I try to find ways for me to cover it up. I posted in "Construction Zone #2" the way God was showing me how I need to be more encouraging toward others; well, I think God has shown me the root of this problem: fear. This is something which I have been struggling with for some time now, and now I think I see how I have been wearing this mask to cover my fears up. At times, I'm afraid of not being as "manly" as other guys around me, so I put up the mask. At other times, I'm afraid of being hurt again and hurting others again, so I withdraw any emotional attachment and put up the mask. This has to stop. The mask, even as much as it has "helped" me (at least in my own mind), has seriously inhibited me from having real relationships with people whose friendships I sincerely value. So, I have to find out how to live without the mask. We've all heard the sermons and messages about not wearing masks, and I for one have heard them all...yet here I sit, talking about how I just discovered mine for the first time. Heh. I guess I can chalk up another irony which God has revealed to me about myself. I want to be real to my friends. I want to be real to those I care about as my closest brothers and sisters. I want to stop putting up a front and start loving people more fully, the way I'm supposed to and the way they deserve.
I haven't done this on my blog for a while, but for those of you who read this, I would ask for your prayers in regards to what I just posted. Also, for a reason I will not post for the entire internetz to read, I almost kind of ran away from my family for the night...so I could also really use prayer for strength and peace in Christ while I'm at home for the rest of Christmas break.
In other news, I found out that I pretty much have a job as a campus safety officer at Spring Arbor when I get back to school. It's technically unofficial as of yet, but the director basically said it might as well be official at this point. It's going to be nice to have a job again, especially over J-Term. Since I'm not taking a class for those three weeks, I should be able to get a good amount of work in. Yay.
I guess this post was not as short as I was hoping it would be. Oh well.
Peace.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Journal Entry 2
So, last time I posted one of my journal entries, it was about singleness and the purpose of relationships. This post is going to be of another couple of entries I wrote a long time ago. It's not particularly something that I'm feeling right now, but I was reminded of it, so I thought I would share it. I'll post the dates for the entries with them, and then I'll finish up with some of my present thoughts.
3-28-08:
"This is a little epiphany I had some time ago, possibly during J-Term. It's something that I still need to think about and be reminded of.
Grief is a good thing to have. It shows how much you care for the person you are grieving over. However, you must take special care not to let it consume you. Being consumed with grief can almost put you in a worse condition than the person you are concerned about. Sympathy and empathy are wonderful to have, but you should never try to shoulder the weight all by yourself. Sometimes it's easier to fall into a mournful depression than it is to receive the joy of knowing that you do not have to carry it alone. Just think: If you are so grieved for this person, can you possibly imagine how much more their Father is, the One who knew their very heart and soul before their birth? Give your burdens and grief over to Him."
3-29-08:
"'It's not my problem anymore. You see, it never really was.' - 'Sinking,' Jars of Clay"
I wrote these down during the winter of my freshman year at SAU. I was being completely consumed with grief during J-Term that year because someone I cared for very deeply was having a horrible time in their life, and was doing things I knew would only help toward their own eventual self-destruction. God taught me a lot over J-Term that year, including what I posted above. I would like now now add Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 7:10-11a: "For godly gried produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this gried has produces in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment!" Wow. God showed me the difference between godly grief and worldly grief outside of this passage, then cemented in into my head through this passage. What an amazing God! My next entry (written down the next day, although the idea actually came a lot later than the previous entry) is pretty much the final say in the matter, and the point at which Christ gave me true freedom from what was once consuming my being.
Again, not something that I've been dealing with lately, but as I write this post out, I'm realizing how important this really is to remember. The few things I've written in my journal during the time I've had it are not very long, but they are things which glorify God's name by revealing very important lessons which He has taught me over the years. Since I only write in my journal sporadically and at times when I feel God is most strongly and obviously speaking to me, there's not many left, haha, but I'll be sure to post more of them in the future...so keep an eye out.
Side note: I went to a Christmas party for the Sokol side of my family this past Sunday afternoon. By the prodding of one of my aunts (in her own words," Life's too short!"), I gave my real dad a hug for pretty much the first time ever. That...is something which, for most of my life, I never thought would happen or which I would never get the chance to do. I hope maybe someday I can call him "dad."
Peace.
3-28-08:
"This is a little epiphany I had some time ago, possibly during J-Term. It's something that I still need to think about and be reminded of.
Grief is a good thing to have. It shows how much you care for the person you are grieving over. However, you must take special care not to let it consume you. Being consumed with grief can almost put you in a worse condition than the person you are concerned about. Sympathy and empathy are wonderful to have, but you should never try to shoulder the weight all by yourself. Sometimes it's easier to fall into a mournful depression than it is to receive the joy of knowing that you do not have to carry it alone. Just think: If you are so grieved for this person, can you possibly imagine how much more their Father is, the One who knew their very heart and soul before their birth? Give your burdens and grief over to Him."
3-29-08:
"'It's not my problem anymore. You see, it never really was.' - 'Sinking,' Jars of Clay"
I wrote these down during the winter of my freshman year at SAU. I was being completely consumed with grief during J-Term that year because someone I cared for very deeply was having a horrible time in their life, and was doing things I knew would only help toward their own eventual self-destruction. God taught me a lot over J-Term that year, including what I posted above. I would like now now add Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 7:10-11a: "For godly gried produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this gried has produces in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment!" Wow. God showed me the difference between godly grief and worldly grief outside of this passage, then cemented in into my head through this passage. What an amazing God! My next entry (written down the next day, although the idea actually came a lot later than the previous entry) is pretty much the final say in the matter, and the point at which Christ gave me true freedom from what was once consuming my being.
Again, not something that I've been dealing with lately, but as I write this post out, I'm realizing how important this really is to remember. The few things I've written in my journal during the time I've had it are not very long, but they are things which glorify God's name by revealing very important lessons which He has taught me over the years. Since I only write in my journal sporadically and at times when I feel God is most strongly and obviously speaking to me, there's not many left, haha, but I'll be sure to post more of them in the future...so keep an eye out.
Side note: I went to a Christmas party for the Sokol side of my family this past Sunday afternoon. By the prodding of one of my aunts (in her own words," Life's too short!"), I gave my real dad a hug for pretty much the first time ever. That...is something which, for most of my life, I never thought would happen or which I would never get the chance to do. I hope maybe someday I can call him "dad."
Peace.
Friday, December 25, 2009
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
So, it's been a good Christmas Day. Good family time, good music time, good food time. Lots of sweets and games. I'm pretty beyond presents at this point, and my mom has realized this, which has made this time of year better, in my opinion.
One of my posts from November last year ("Hi again") explains my interesting family situation, so I won't bother writing it all out for you here, other than saying that two summers ago I "discovered" an entire side of my family which I didn't know about. Weird. So, I'll be spending this Sunday afternoon with a bunch of them for Christmas for the first time. I'm pretty excited about it. Last year at Thanksgiving with that side of my family (Sokol, which was my surname at birth), I was given a cookbook of a bunch of their family recipes. I was just looking at it this morning, and there are a LOT of really delicious-sounding recipes in it...so, when I get a job and get back to Spring Arbor this winter, I might be making some good food, for anyone interested. =]
Anyways, I really don't have much of importance to say, I just felt like typing stuff, haha. Since I have all those other good times listed at the top, I think I'll add some good God time to the list right now.
Peace.
One of my posts from November last year ("Hi again") explains my interesting family situation, so I won't bother writing it all out for you here, other than saying that two summers ago I "discovered" an entire side of my family which I didn't know about. Weird. So, I'll be spending this Sunday afternoon with a bunch of them for Christmas for the first time. I'm pretty excited about it. Last year at Thanksgiving with that side of my family (Sokol, which was my surname at birth), I was given a cookbook of a bunch of their family recipes. I was just looking at it this morning, and there are a LOT of really delicious-sounding recipes in it...so, when I get a job and get back to Spring Arbor this winter, I might be making some good food, for anyone interested. =]
Anyways, I really don't have much of importance to say, I just felt like typing stuff, haha. Since I have all those other good times listed at the top, I think I'll add some good God time to the list right now.
Peace.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Meh.
So, today I got my grades back for this semester. The song "Bad Day" comes to mind. Most of my classes went well, and I got good grades in general. In fact, I thought I was going to lose a scholarship for next semester, which would've been really rough; however, I found out that my GPA stayed above the minimum to keep it by o.o5 points. WHEW!
Unfortunately, however, the grade for the class which I thought was going to make me lose the scholarship (my Pentateuch class) was still pretty bad. I got a C- in it, which is totally what I deserved...but the most unfortunate part is that it's a required class specifically for my major, meaning I needed a straight C in order for it to count toward my major. Fail. I'm now in the process of discussing this with my academic advisor and fixing up my academic schedule to put in another class to fill the requirement. Not exactly fun, but I have learned at least one good lesson about myself through this. Just as I discussed in part in my last post, and as discussed by a friend of mine recently (http://consumingzeal.blogspot.com/2009/12/desire-so-enticing.html), "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." I need discipline, and God has been pounding this fact into my head all day through my own actions and through my grade report.
Hope you get better grades than me, lol.
Peace.
Unfortunately, however, the grade for the class which I thought was going to make me lose the scholarship (my Pentateuch class) was still pretty bad. I got a C- in it, which is totally what I deserved...but the most unfortunate part is that it's a required class specifically for my major, meaning I needed a straight C in order for it to count toward my major. Fail. I'm now in the process of discussing this with my academic advisor and fixing up my academic schedule to put in another class to fill the requirement. Not exactly fun, but I have learned at least one good lesson about myself through this. Just as I discussed in part in my last post, and as discussed by a friend of mine recently (http://consumingzeal.blogspot.com/2009/12/desire-so-enticing.html), "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." I need discipline, and God has been pounding this fact into my head all day through my own actions and through my grade report.
Hope you get better grades than me, lol.
Peace.
A sad realization
So far, Christmas break this year has been better than pretty much all my times at home have been in a long time. Before break, I decided to have a serious attitude change before returning, and my mom has even noticed this. However, I am having a more difficult time in changing for the better when it comes to my relationship with God. This morning, God convicted me of my laziness in this matter. I looked at my walk with God, and I was disturbed by where I am. I very often stray from the path God wants me on to pursue my own selfish desires. I recently experienced a cross-carrying moment that left me feeling really encouraged and strengthened in Christ...but when I failed to do the same thing again because I wasn't relying on Him, I realized how long it has been since I've actually carried my cross for Christ's sake. I break and give in so quickly to my selfishness, it's a wonder that God has brought me this far. I have to start not only disciplining myself to do what I know is right and true, but also start actually putting my trust in God and truly asking for strength from Him.
In other news, I have a giant pile of clothes in my van right now that I received from guys in Ormston who wanted to donate them to those in need. No, I wasn't referring to myself when I told them that; several of us were going to donate them to who-knows-where in Jackson, but we never really got anything organized. So, hopefully, today I'll be running them up to a Goodwill in Okemos. Yay Goodwill. I'm tempted to take in a huge pocketful of change and buy some cassette tapes for my van while I'm in town...hehe.
Peace.
In other news, I have a giant pile of clothes in my van right now that I received from guys in Ormston who wanted to donate them to those in need. No, I wasn't referring to myself when I told them that; several of us were going to donate them to who-knows-where in Jackson, but we never really got anything organized. So, hopefully, today I'll be running them up to a Goodwill in Okemos. Yay Goodwill. I'm tempted to take in a huge pocketful of change and buy some cassette tapes for my van while I'm in town...hehe.
Peace.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Through the dark
So, I am officially home for Christmas break, and it's already been a struggle even after only a day. However, I want things to be different this break: between myself and God, and between myself and my family. I want to be a light to my family, and I know that can only happen with God's help...so I need to seek Him hardcore.
I was listening to some music on the way back from a Saturday night service in Holt, and I hit a Building 429 song that I hand't really listened to before; the lyrics resounded in me, though. I'll share a snippet of it:
"But I won't question in the dark what is true out in the light;
I will follow after You through the sun and through the night.
I won't question in the dark what is true out in the light;
I will follow after You through the storm and through the fight.
'Cause You've got me right where You want me;
Yeah, You've got me right where I need to be,
And I'm standing amazed."
It's so hard to see God's will when I get back home on breaks, because I just want to chill and entertain myself through the boring times. However, I know that God has a plan for me even for the short time while I'm home, although that fact breezes by me so often. I lose sight of God when I'm home: saying I'm going to seek Him, yet lacking the follow-through when it's most important. My arrogance says I don't need to dive into God's Word because I already know enough...even as untrue as that is, this is the attitude I take when I find myself bored. So, instead of seeking His will through Scripture or prayer, I find something else to do...like play music, check my e-mail, etc. Those are fine...but when I already haven't spent enought time with God that day, it adds up to a whole lot of nothing, and I end up regretting not spending that time with Him later.
So, then...how do I go about fixing my hypocrisy? I'm going to go spend some time with my Saviour right now and figure that out.
Peace.
I was listening to some music on the way back from a Saturday night service in Holt, and I hit a Building 429 song that I hand't really listened to before; the lyrics resounded in me, though. I'll share a snippet of it:
"But I won't question in the dark what is true out in the light;
I will follow after You through the sun and through the night.
I won't question in the dark what is true out in the light;
I will follow after You through the storm and through the fight.
'Cause You've got me right where You want me;
Yeah, You've got me right where I need to be,
And I'm standing amazed."
It's so hard to see God's will when I get back home on breaks, because I just want to chill and entertain myself through the boring times. However, I know that God has a plan for me even for the short time while I'm home, although that fact breezes by me so often. I lose sight of God when I'm home: saying I'm going to seek Him, yet lacking the follow-through when it's most important. My arrogance says I don't need to dive into God's Word because I already know enough...even as untrue as that is, this is the attitude I take when I find myself bored. So, instead of seeking His will through Scripture or prayer, I find something else to do...like play music, check my e-mail, etc. Those are fine...but when I already haven't spent enought time with God that day, it adds up to a whole lot of nothing, and I end up regretting not spending that time with Him later.
So, then...how do I go about fixing my hypocrisy? I'm going to go spend some time with my Saviour right now and figure that out.
Peace.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Good grief.
So, I had a nuclear meltdown last night, in my soul and in my head...if you couldn't tell from my last post. Things are better now, and I'm seeing God's will a little more clearly in regard to my idea of going to the International House of Prayer next fall. My mom was absolutely and immoveably opposed to the idea of me going there before I graduate, and after discussing the situation with a couple of guys on my floor, it came down to one question: If my going to IHOP next fall will harm my relationship with my mom so much, and if I can still be a disciple and seek God here at Spring Arbor, then should I really go? I think, according to what God has revealed about His character to me, that the answer is no. I don't personally agree with the reasons for which she opposed it, but in the end, I think it's going to be wiser to defer to her, especially when I wasn't really sure if it was God's will anyway...I just wanted it to be. Honestly, I feel like I may have used His name in vain for my own argumentative purposes in this situation...I am such a hypocrite. Well, anyways, the point of this is to reassure those who have read my latest posts that the situation is being resolved, I have a lot more peace about staying here at Spring Arbor until I graduate, and I have a lot more peace in general about what God wants me to do. A ton of guys on my floor were praying for me about all this last night throughout the various stages of my meltdown, and I really, really appreciated it. Thank you, all who prayed for and encouraged me through this.
Peace.
Peace.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
There are no words...
God, is it just my impatience, or is it Your calling?
God, are You prodding me to jump, or are You trying to hold me back?
God, is it my rebellion, or is it Yours?
God, are these my dreams, or are they Your plans?
God, what is Your will?
God, if I make the wrong decision, what will happen?
God, I'm so confused right now. I don't know what action to take. I'll try to fumble through the guidance You have given me, even with my limited abilities.
Goodnight.
God, are You prodding me to jump, or are You trying to hold me back?
God, is it my rebellion, or is it Yours?
God, are these my dreams, or are they Your plans?
God, what is Your will?
God, if I make the wrong decision, what will happen?
God, I'm so confused right now. I don't know what action to take. I'll try to fumble through the guidance You have given me, even with my limited abilities.
Goodnight.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
I love Jesus.
So, almost a week ago, I left a post on here in which I talked about possibly going to the International House of Prayer next fall. Well, myself and three other guys on Ormston Three have been talking about this and praying like crazy all week because of it. Presently, there's a student awakening going on at IHOP University, and they've been meeting for six hours Wednesday-Saturday nights AND putting it on the web as a live stream. We've been watching this as much as possible and truly praying in the Spirit, and we've really been experiencing God's love, power, and will for our lives. Healings, both spiritual and physical, have already been happening among the guys on my floor, even in this small amount of time. It's crazy. With all of IHOP's talk of revival, we got tired of just sitting around here at Spring Arbor and praying for revival to just happen, so we decided to give ourselves to God and ask to be used for it. We hope that God will bring revival to campus soon; we're praying for it and living it out in the name of Jesus.
I guess that's the whole update for now. Ask me about it if you want to know more.
Peace.
I guess that's the whole update for now. Ask me about it if you want to know more.
Peace.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Hungry? Try IHOP!
So, in regard to my previous "rethinking Spring Arbor"-type post, I would like to continue the discussion. Last night, a group of guys on my floor and myself had a long discussion on the work of the Holy Spirit, revival, and truly living as disciples of Jesus Christ. We had a really intense time of prayer afterward, and then we started another crazy conversation. We got into discussing what it takes to really follow Christ: surrendering all our rights, dreams, and lives, and even selling our possessions *GASP.* I am so past the American Dream it's ridiculous. Since our prayer session last night, I have been getting over all my dreams in life, a lot of my selfish desires (like NEEDING a Playstation 2 with Dynasty Warriors 5 to play on it), and I have had a full day of joy, peace, and more real times with God than I have had in a long time. I am ready to get rid of all the crap I own, other than what I truly need. I got rid of a couple games on my computer that are really time-consuming, I'm giving away the Playstation 2 tomorrow, even though I JUST bought it, and I can't stand the thought of actually buying an album of music anymore. We want to start a floor fund for Compassion International. At one point last night, I think my friend Cameron brought up his idea of going away to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. He talked about it a bit, so we looked it up. On the main page there was a video we watched which addressed pretty much everything we had been discussing...and since we had been discussing how to identify the Holy Spirit's calling and movements, and had actually prayed about it a lot, we took it to be an answer for us. Crazy. The four of us who had been seriously wondering what we're doing at Spring Arbor decided to seriously pray about and look into attending IHOP's university. I won't discuss it much here, because I really don't want to make it sound like this is something that is 100% happening (boasting about tomorrow is bad), but we are really serious about this. I want to leave everything behind that I cling to so closely and just seek God. We all know that God won't be "more there," but we are all so discontent here at Spring Arbor, and we are paying a lot of money to not know what we're doing here. Talk to me about this sometime...I don't feel like typing it all out.
Peace.
Peace.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thanksgiving Break
So, here we are, enjoying a time of rest and fellowship with those we love. Thanksgiving Break is wonderful.
As unforgiveably cliche as that statement was, it's pretty true for me. This is one of the few times of year that I can spend a significant amount of time with a bunch of relatives on both sides of my family. I am the only link between my mom and dad's respective sides of the family because of a big mess from almost two decades ago, so two Thanksgiving dinners are in store for me each Thanksgiving Day. Sooo good.
I wish all that was the purpose of this blog, though. Since the summer, I've been wondering why I'm at Spring Arbor now. I'm a Retreat and Camping Ministry major. If that's really the type of career I'm going to be working toward after college, why am I not just interning at camp? Neither of my bosses at Center Lake Bible Camp have a degree like this. They actually got the experience they needed in other ways. One was a Biology major, the other was a construction worker; God prepared them perfectly through these experiences for their present jobs. God has certainly done a lot in, on, and through me during my time at Spring Arbor, and for that, I'm thankful. However, I don't know how much longer I should stay. I feel miserable at school, and at times I can't stand the thought of being there for another year and a half after this year is over. The funny part is, several of the textbooks I have to read for school affirm this feeling in me, and according to what they say, I should probably leave. I was seriously entertaining thoughts on not returning to Spring Arbor; I am committed to a few things at school this year that I didn't think would be wise for me to just back out of, so I came back. Now that it's halfway through this year, my grades are slipping, and I can't seem to fix them. My desire to take classes and be at school at all has sunk into the negative. I'm always worrying about getting the next assignment in, whether or not I'll be able to keep a scholarship for next semester, and now the Michigan "Promise" Scholarship has fallen through for me and a bunch of others...
Should I just get over all this after the schoolyear's over and press on, or should I do something else? I'm not the only one who feels like staying at school might not be what God wants us to do; I hear stories like this all the time, and many from Spring Arbor. Of course, this isn't the majority, but I do hear from more and more of my friends that they feel similarly.
I would like to move to Grand Rapids with a bunch of my friends, to be honest. I feel really at home there, and when I'm home or at school, I just feel like I'm floating in an ocean, completely directionless. Relient K's song "College Kids" has never felt more applicable. I've also seriously considered leaving school to intern at Center Lake. Seems to be "THE" thing to do for the kids who don't know what they're doing with their life...haha. Anyways, I could use your prayers about this situation, whoever reads this blog. If any of my friends who read this want to talk about this with me...please...don't hesitate. I don't want to make a decision that I will regret later, whatever the decision is, so getting counsel from others is one of my priorities.
Peace.
As unforgiveably cliche as that statement was, it's pretty true for me. This is one of the few times of year that I can spend a significant amount of time with a bunch of relatives on both sides of my family. I am the only link between my mom and dad's respective sides of the family because of a big mess from almost two decades ago, so two Thanksgiving dinners are in store for me each Thanksgiving Day. Sooo good.
I wish all that was the purpose of this blog, though. Since the summer, I've been wondering why I'm at Spring Arbor now. I'm a Retreat and Camping Ministry major. If that's really the type of career I'm going to be working toward after college, why am I not just interning at camp? Neither of my bosses at Center Lake Bible Camp have a degree like this. They actually got the experience they needed in other ways. One was a Biology major, the other was a construction worker; God prepared them perfectly through these experiences for their present jobs. God has certainly done a lot in, on, and through me during my time at Spring Arbor, and for that, I'm thankful. However, I don't know how much longer I should stay. I feel miserable at school, and at times I can't stand the thought of being there for another year and a half after this year is over. The funny part is, several of the textbooks I have to read for school affirm this feeling in me, and according to what they say, I should probably leave. I was seriously entertaining thoughts on not returning to Spring Arbor; I am committed to a few things at school this year that I didn't think would be wise for me to just back out of, so I came back. Now that it's halfway through this year, my grades are slipping, and I can't seem to fix them. My desire to take classes and be at school at all has sunk into the negative. I'm always worrying about getting the next assignment in, whether or not I'll be able to keep a scholarship for next semester, and now the Michigan "Promise" Scholarship has fallen through for me and a bunch of others...
Should I just get over all this after the schoolyear's over and press on, or should I do something else? I'm not the only one who feels like staying at school might not be what God wants us to do; I hear stories like this all the time, and many from Spring Arbor. Of course, this isn't the majority, but I do hear from more and more of my friends that they feel similarly.
I would like to move to Grand Rapids with a bunch of my friends, to be honest. I feel really at home there, and when I'm home or at school, I just feel like I'm floating in an ocean, completely directionless. Relient K's song "College Kids" has never felt more applicable. I've also seriously considered leaving school to intern at Center Lake. Seems to be "THE" thing to do for the kids who don't know what they're doing with their life...haha. Anyways, I could use your prayers about this situation, whoever reads this blog. If any of my friends who read this want to talk about this with me...please...don't hesitate. I don't want to make a decision that I will regret later, whatever the decision is, so getting counsel from others is one of my priorities.
Peace.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
H1N1: A new perspective
So, today in my Pentateuch class with Dr. Tom, we had a long discussion about holiness, and I would like to highlight some key points which stood out to me.
1. Holiness is contagious.
2. People who are holy are set apart.
3. Holiness changes your being.
4. When the unholy comes in contact with the holy, there are consequences.
Now, let's look at H1N1:
1. It's contagious.
2. People who have it are set apart from everyone else.
3. It changes your physical being.
4. When someone who doesn't have it comes into contact with someone who does, there are consequences.
What's the moral of this blog post? The swine flu is comparable to holiness.
Hope that was worth half a laugh. (<-- Rhyme, teehee.)
1. Holiness is contagious.
2. People who are holy are set apart.
3. Holiness changes your being.
4. When the unholy comes in contact with the holy, there are consequences.
Now, let's look at H1N1:
1. It's contagious.
2. People who have it are set apart from everyone else.
3. It changes your physical being.
4. When someone who doesn't have it comes into contact with someone who does, there are consequences.
What's the moral of this blog post? The swine flu is comparable to holiness.
Hope that was worth half a laugh. (<-- Rhyme, teehee.)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Construction Zone #2
Alrighty. So, I was hanging out with some friends yesterday on my birthday, and I learned a few unfortunate things about myself. Ughhh. I try to serve others when I can, but I don't always do that very well, and to top it off, I realized that sometimes I force the service on them. That's not cool. The main thing yesterday was that one of my good friends told me that I make it hard for others to serve me. I know that statement was intended to help me, but I really felt like a jerk when I heard it. They basically said I should stop being stubborn, because some people might be trying to serve me, but they don't know how. I know I can be fairly stubborn sometimes, but I had no idea it was to the point of getting in people's way when they're trying to be cool to me. =[
I guess this is just another way in which God's trying to work on me...but this is a little harder for me to do than other things. I don't really know how to work on this specifically. I guess praying about it would be a good idea...I don't know what else to do.
I guess this is just another way in which God's trying to work on me...but this is a little harder for me to do than other things. I don't really know how to work on this specifically. I guess praying about it would be a good idea...I don't know what else to do.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Exodus attitudes
Hey readers! I was working on an assignment today for my Pentateuch class (Pentateuch = 1st five books of the Bible, fyi), and I came up with an interesting perspective that I've never heard before. This is what I got...check it.
It's interesting how much the Israelites grumbled and rejected God after all they had seen Him do for them in bringing them out of Egypt. They were so focused on the moment and themselves that they completely lost sight of God and His long-term plans for them, even after His continual reminders. It's also interesting to note that although God physically brought them out of Egypt, their mindset hadn't changed from when they were held as slaves. Let me explain further. I think their complaining could be attributed to them being so used to oppressions for such a long time that they couldn't get out of their rebellion-against-authority mindset even while God led them. They went out of their way to continue complaining, even after their original (and legitimate) complaints had been dealt with. I'd like to propose the idea that maybe this was because instead of seeing the differences, they saw the SIMILARITIES between God's authority and Pharaoh's: they both claimed authority over Israel, they both provided what Israel needed for survival (Pharaoh, obviously, less graciously, and more for the purpose of merely keeping them alive enough to work for him), and they both expected Israel to obey their commands, or there would be consequences. However, if this is why they were still complaining, they sure missed the DIFFERENCES between the main purposes of the two "servitudes," as it were: Pharaoh set them apart and lorded over them in order to build up his own people and nation, and didn't care about them at all, as long as they could do the work expected of them; God, however, set them apart and became their Lord in order to build them up AS his own people, His holy nation among the nations, and He most certainly cared for their well-being. He wanted them to become closer to Himself.
My friend Brian came in with a sweet application after hearing this, which I'm stealing and expounding on, haha. Basically, when we ask God to help us in our life situations, and He does, then that's great. We're out of Egypt. However, God doesn't change our mindsets outright. We may still gripe and grumble and lose sight of what God's already done for us if we don't remember to be thankful for it. Take the salvation He's given us, for example. We have no reason to complain about our life situations if we deserved eternal separation from Him in hell, and yet He gave His Son Jesus in our place. No reason at all.
In short: God's changed our situation, but have we changed our attitudes in response to His grace and love?
I think I'm going to use this for a Bible study on my floor soon.
It's interesting how much the Israelites grumbled and rejected God after all they had seen Him do for them in bringing them out of Egypt. They were so focused on the moment and themselves that they completely lost sight of God and His long-term plans for them, even after His continual reminders. It's also interesting to note that although God physically brought them out of Egypt, their mindset hadn't changed from when they were held as slaves. Let me explain further. I think their complaining could be attributed to them being so used to oppressions for such a long time that they couldn't get out of their rebellion-against-authority mindset even while God led them. They went out of their way to continue complaining, even after their original (and legitimate) complaints had been dealt with. I'd like to propose the idea that maybe this was because instead of seeing the differences, they saw the SIMILARITIES between God's authority and Pharaoh's: they both claimed authority over Israel, they both provided what Israel needed for survival (Pharaoh, obviously, less graciously, and more for the purpose of merely keeping them alive enough to work for him), and they both expected Israel to obey their commands, or there would be consequences. However, if this is why they were still complaining, they sure missed the DIFFERENCES between the main purposes of the two "servitudes," as it were: Pharaoh set them apart and lorded over them in order to build up his own people and nation, and didn't care about them at all, as long as they could do the work expected of them; God, however, set them apart and became their Lord in order to build them up AS his own people, His holy nation among the nations, and He most certainly cared for their well-being. He wanted them to become closer to Himself.
My friend Brian came in with a sweet application after hearing this, which I'm stealing and expounding on, haha. Basically, when we ask God to help us in our life situations, and He does, then that's great. We're out of Egypt. However, God doesn't change our mindsets outright. We may still gripe and grumble and lose sight of what God's already done for us if we don't remember to be thankful for it. Take the salvation He's given us, for example. We have no reason to complain about our life situations if we deserved eternal separation from Him in hell, and yet He gave His Son Jesus in our place. No reason at all.
In short: God's changed our situation, but have we changed our attitudes in response to His grace and love?
I think I'm going to use this for a Bible study on my floor soon.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Internet control
Hey readers! I have some time off from homework, so I thought I'd share some thoughts with y'all.
As some of you may know, I deleted my Facebook account this past Tuesday night. Many people have opposed me in this decision, but I'm sticking with it. It was consuming my life...quite literally. It was taking the place of God in my daily routine. Everything I did usually had something to do with it at some point or another. These things, along with the fact that there are plenty of other ways to keep in contact with me/for me to keep in contact with others (including this blog, btw), all contributed to the deletion.
Like I mentioned, I have several friends who have been/are trying to get me to change my mind, but stuff like that usually just strengthens my resolve. Another note: a smallgroup that one of my cousins is involved with at MSU and a Sunday school class at my home church BOTH used this event in their discussions. My cousin said people in her group thought it was really cool, and the class at my church ALL sent me letters together encouraging me to stick with my decision and stay right with God. Holy crap. Despite all the negative, God has been using certain people to really encourage me and make me convinced that I made the right decision. =]
God has been really working on me, as you can see with this post and my last one. I'm pretty pumped. I really want to give up all the crap I'm holding on to, and He's been helping me do that. I guess that's been the main thing lately. Hope y'all have a good night!
As some of you may know, I deleted my Facebook account this past Tuesday night. Many people have opposed me in this decision, but I'm sticking with it. It was consuming my life...quite literally. It was taking the place of God in my daily routine. Everything I did usually had something to do with it at some point or another. These things, along with the fact that there are plenty of other ways to keep in contact with me/for me to keep in contact with others (including this blog, btw), all contributed to the deletion.
Like I mentioned, I have several friends who have been/are trying to get me to change my mind, but stuff like that usually just strengthens my resolve. Another note: a smallgroup that one of my cousins is involved with at MSU and a Sunday school class at my home church BOTH used this event in their discussions. My cousin said people in her group thought it was really cool, and the class at my church ALL sent me letters together encouraging me to stick with my decision and stay right with God. Holy crap. Despite all the negative, God has been using certain people to really encourage me and make me convinced that I made the right decision. =]
God has been really working on me, as you can see with this post and my last one. I'm pretty pumped. I really want to give up all the crap I'm holding on to, and He's been helping me do that. I guess that's been the main thing lately. Hope y'all have a good night!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Encouragement
Things have been building up lately: my dislike of school, my irritability, my frustration with myself, my desire to get closer to God (ironically, after the first three), and my stress with homework, which I'm making worse even now by writing this post...but oh well.
Even through my failure to keep up my end of a healthy relationship with God, He still has been teaching me various lessons lately. Time management would be one, being the one issue which has been interfering most with my relationship with Him. I'm really good at procrastinating and distracting myself from what needs to be done, which has been affecting pretty much everything in my life in some way or another.
One of the biggest things God has been weighing on me about lately is my attitude toward others. I've come to the realization that I am not a very encouraging person. I mean, I can be when I feel like I really need to be, but that's really not very often, and my language in general is mostly not good for building people up. I intend to change that, with God's help. I've already set a goal to encourage a set number of people this week, but I would like to not even worry about the number and just do it. Are we not supposed to be doing so anyway? Fail. I've been doing some serious self-analyzing lately, and my life is not matching up to what it should look like if I were truly letting Jesus live through me. Sigh. I have so much to say, but only a few words to articulate it with. I'm looking forward to, and yet terrified of, whatever God's will is for my life.
If it seems like my thoughts are jumping around, I'm sorry. Our chaplain, Ron Kopicko, spoke at Deeper tonight, and it really affected me. I realized how many people on this campus are hurting and need love, and how calloused I've become to that fact. I've been so focused on myself lately, even though I didn't realize it, that I've blinded myself to others' needs.
I know this is all pretty scatterbrained, but that's the way I feel right now. I just needed to write some of it out. Thanks for reading.
Even through my failure to keep up my end of a healthy relationship with God, He still has been teaching me various lessons lately. Time management would be one, being the one issue which has been interfering most with my relationship with Him. I'm really good at procrastinating and distracting myself from what needs to be done, which has been affecting pretty much everything in my life in some way or another.
One of the biggest things God has been weighing on me about lately is my attitude toward others. I've come to the realization that I am not a very encouraging person. I mean, I can be when I feel like I really need to be, but that's really not very often, and my language in general is mostly not good for building people up. I intend to change that, with God's help. I've already set a goal to encourage a set number of people this week, but I would like to not even worry about the number and just do it. Are we not supposed to be doing so anyway? Fail. I've been doing some serious self-analyzing lately, and my life is not matching up to what it should look like if I were truly letting Jesus live through me. Sigh. I have so much to say, but only a few words to articulate it with. I'm looking forward to, and yet terrified of, whatever God's will is for my life.
If it seems like my thoughts are jumping around, I'm sorry. Our chaplain, Ron Kopicko, spoke at Deeper tonight, and it really affected me. I realized how many people on this campus are hurting and need love, and how calloused I've become to that fact. I've been so focused on myself lately, even though I didn't realize it, that I've blinded myself to others' needs.
I know this is all pretty scatterbrained, but that's the way I feel right now. I just needed to write some of it out. Thanks for reading.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Sarcasm?
I've had some thoughts like this floating around my head for a while, and just today I gave it some more thought. Sarcasm. That one thing we're all so good at, and love using so often. Also something that I feel should be addressed.
My main point: Hebrews 12:14 - "Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord." I admittedly use some heavy sarcasm with my friends in regular conversation; however, the difference I want to distinguish here is between sarcastically joking around with friends and using sarcasm in a provocatory, argumentative manner. This might seem like a pointless note to those reading it, but after reading a facebook note recently written by a friend, and watching the responding believers (people whom I respect, no less) try to destroy each other with sarcastic comments over whether or not their respective opinions were Biblical, I think it important to offer up a reminder. Sarcasm is fine when you're having fun with friends who can handle it; this is not what was happening, though. The sarcasm I am opposing is that which is meant to tear down others, to build up one's own opinion, and which causes strife among the Church. It's not about whether or not your opinion is right...seriously. You may very well be correct, but that doesn't give you the right to force people into your way of thinking by tearing them apart with logic. 1 Peter 3:8-11 - "Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For 'Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.'" Trying to destroy someone else's opinion in order to prove that you are correct is the opposite of having a humble mind. Using sarcasm to this end is not striving after peace or holiness. Its sole purpose is to make someone feel guilty or inferior, which is NOT what we have been called to do.
In the end, though, this is my opinion. I've been throwing around Scripture just like everyone else who wants to prove a point. If you call me a hypocrite for this, I accept the title, haha. After that, though, let's both consider how we can better submit our lives to Christ by living out Hebrews 12:14.
Peace.
My main point: Hebrews 12:14 - "Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord." I admittedly use some heavy sarcasm with my friends in regular conversation; however, the difference I want to distinguish here is between sarcastically joking around with friends and using sarcasm in a provocatory, argumentative manner. This might seem like a pointless note to those reading it, but after reading a facebook note recently written by a friend, and watching the responding believers (people whom I respect, no less) try to destroy each other with sarcastic comments over whether or not their respective opinions were Biblical, I think it important to offer up a reminder. Sarcasm is fine when you're having fun with friends who can handle it; this is not what was happening, though. The sarcasm I am opposing is that which is meant to tear down others, to build up one's own opinion, and which causes strife among the Church. It's not about whether or not your opinion is right...seriously. You may very well be correct, but that doesn't give you the right to force people into your way of thinking by tearing them apart with logic. 1 Peter 3:8-11 - "Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For 'Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.'" Trying to destroy someone else's opinion in order to prove that you are correct is the opposite of having a humble mind. Using sarcasm to this end is not striving after peace or holiness. Its sole purpose is to make someone feel guilty or inferior, which is NOT what we have been called to do.
In the end, though, this is my opinion. I've been throwing around Scripture just like everyone else who wants to prove a point. If you call me a hypocrite for this, I accept the title, haha. After that, though, let's both consider how we can better submit our lives to Christ by living out Hebrews 12:14.
Peace.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Jesus. The end.
Ok, so, here's the deal. God is way bigger than us, yes? God is way more powerful than us, yes? God is way smarter than us, yes? The best laid plans for how the student leaders at Spring Arbor want the year to go are NOT necessarily the same plans that God has for the campus this year. We have our planned events and our ideas and our structures for how things are going to go, but God might have something else to say about those. We, with all these things, cannot bring people to Christ. We cannot save ANYONE. Jesus does that. The Holy Spirit does that. The Father does that. Pardon my Batman reference, but I dare say God is an Agent of holy chaos. Not craziness, but chaos according to how we think things should go.
We had chapel this morning, and it was intense. Some people didn't think very highly of it. Many did. I am not going to state my straight opinion on whether or not I thought it was "good," or on the speaker, Rick Amato. He presented the Gospel, had an altar call, and praised God a lot. There are already disagreements on his methods, though. I just want to say that when a guy I don't know very well comes to me afterward in my room, tells me about his former addictions to prescription drugs, his six-year addiction to pornography, and the fact that he hasn't even picked up his Bible in nearly a year, and THEN proceeds to tell me that this is the greatest day of his life, that he's had a spiritual renewal like he's never had before, that his burdens have been lifted, and that he wants to read his Bible now and be on fire for CHRIST...I can see that God was working on people today. And you CANNOT POSSIBLY convince me otherwise. Now comes the follow-up: What are we going to do about it?
We had chapel this morning, and it was intense. Some people didn't think very highly of it. Many did. I am not going to state my straight opinion on whether or not I thought it was "good," or on the speaker, Rick Amato. He presented the Gospel, had an altar call, and praised God a lot. There are already disagreements on his methods, though. I just want to say that when a guy I don't know very well comes to me afterward in my room, tells me about his former addictions to prescription drugs, his six-year addiction to pornography, and the fact that he hasn't even picked up his Bible in nearly a year, and THEN proceeds to tell me that this is the greatest day of his life, that he's had a spiritual renewal like he's never had before, that his burdens have been lifted, and that he wants to read his Bible now and be on fire for CHRIST...I can see that God was working on people today. And you CANNOT POSSIBLY convince me otherwise. Now comes the follow-up: What are we going to do about it?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I ALMOST thought about getting rid of this...and then this morning happened. ugh.
Yeah, it's been awhile since my last post. Sorry about that. I don't think I'll be blogging about my summer at camp...if there was a way for me to easily do it throughout the summer, it would be nice, but it's really hard to summarize everything easily now that it's over.
Anyways, apologies are not the point of me writing this at 6:00 AM. I've been awake all night, and I am not happy about it. I'm at Spring Arbor right now; the freshmen all moved in yesterday. I am what is known as the Spiritual Life Adviser for my dorm floor. Since I got here 2 days ago, all everyone has been talking about is how this year could be amazing: people on fire for God, preparing in prayers for humility and servant-like attitudes, and just really excited in general. This also applies to my RA, Casey Mellinger. He's shared with me some really awesome hopes he has for our floor this year, and we both are pretty pumped for it. So, naturally, Satan wants to throw a wrench in things and screw it up as much as he possibly can. I found that out tonight when I tried to go to sleep. I did not sleep; instead, I got hit with some tough warfare. I prayed, and I prayed, and I told Satan he was retarded for even THINKING he could mess with my God's plans (a few choice words came to mind that I won't share here), and I prayed some more...and after a while, it was over...not that I could sleep afterward or anything, but at least it was done. So, here I am, telling you about this. I would really appreciate prayer for the guys on my floor, the guys in my dorm, and the student leaders here especially. We need God's strength.
Anyways, apologies are not the point of me writing this at 6:00 AM. I've been awake all night, and I am not happy about it. I'm at Spring Arbor right now; the freshmen all moved in yesterday. I am what is known as the Spiritual Life Adviser for my dorm floor. Since I got here 2 days ago, all everyone has been talking about is how this year could be amazing: people on fire for God, preparing in prayers for humility and servant-like attitudes, and just really excited in general. This also applies to my RA, Casey Mellinger. He's shared with me some really awesome hopes he has for our floor this year, and we both are pretty pumped for it. So, naturally, Satan wants to throw a wrench in things and screw it up as much as he possibly can. I found that out tonight when I tried to go to sleep. I did not sleep; instead, I got hit with some tough warfare. I prayed, and I prayed, and I told Satan he was retarded for even THINKING he could mess with my God's plans (a few choice words came to mind that I won't share here), and I prayed some more...and after a while, it was over...not that I could sleep afterward or anything, but at least it was done. So, here I am, telling you about this. I would really appreciate prayer for the guys on my floor, the guys in my dorm, and the student leaders here especially. We need God's strength.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Camp(end)
Holy cow, I am wiped out...
Camp is officially over for the summer, and my third summer counseling was a doozie. I'm feelin like a lazy blogger today, so I won't talk for long. Basically, this summer was truly one of the best ones I've spent at camp...so many kids coming to Christ, God using the staff like crazy for His work, kids really learning what it means to follow Christ...not that this all doesn't usually happen at camp, but it was just really visible to me this summer. God really taught ME a lot as well. Too bad I'm feeling so lazy today, or I might actually telly you some of it. If you want to really hear some stories, we should talk. See ya.
Camp is officially over for the summer, and my third summer counseling was a doozie. I'm feelin like a lazy blogger today, so I won't talk for long. Basically, this summer was truly one of the best ones I've spent at camp...so many kids coming to Christ, God using the staff like crazy for His work, kids really learning what it means to follow Christ...not that this all doesn't usually happen at camp, but it was just really visible to me this summer. God really taught ME a lot as well. Too bad I'm feeling so lazy today, or I might actually telly you some of it. If you want to really hear some stories, we should talk. See ya.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Drive time
Wow, my down time is over. That was really fast, ha.
I've now started packing back up to head to Center Lake for the summer. Well, scratch that...I've started re-organizing what hasn't been UNpacked yet, haha. When I come home, it's usually never for very long, so I just live out of my suitcases until I leave again. I have a small stack of books I'm bringing to read...and some of them to supplement camp's firewood supply, hahahahaha.
One thing (of the MANY things) which I'm excited about for the summer is a study my good friend Mike Carpenter is taking me through. He's going to teach me all about Arminianism and Calvinism, showing me all the Scriptures which support each view, and instructing me on the pros and cons of each. I'm pretty stoked, since this is a discussion topic I've heard lots of people argue about, and one which people ask me about frequently in regards to where I stand on it, so I figured it would be wise to actually learn up on it.
Man, I can't even explain in words how excited I am for the summer...it's ridiculous. Of the several places which I regularly stay at throughout the year, camp is where I feel most at home. Everything I love comes together here: lots of music, living in the woods, lots of hangout time with friends, lots of ALONE time with no one but myself and God, kids, lots of serving, and people who LOVE. It's an amazing place. xD I don't know if I'll have any chances to update this until I'm done for the summer, so don't expect much from me until then. I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories to share afterward. =]
*Side note to anyone reading this: Camp is great and fun, but it's really tough sometimes, for many reasons (kids going insane, the rare conflict between staff, and some serious spiritual warfare), so any and all prayer you can provide for use would be MUCH appreciated!
Another less obvious reason for why I'm excited for camp this summer is because I'm one of those people who's crazy about traveling. I love going places and seeing new things, but I really don't get the chance to do that kind of stuff anymore. My family used to take summer vacations up North every year, and Spring vacations to Kentucky for several years (and yes, I've heard every possible insult for Kentucky, and I don't want to hear any of it, because if you have ever ACTUALLY been there and are in ANY way observant of your surroundings, you would know it's a beautiful state!). We don't do any of those since I've started working at camp, but not because I'm gone all summer. We just can't. This has been bothering me a bit lately; I've been really longing to go out West for a very long time now. This is one trip I've not experienced, but also one I've wanted to take since I was little. I see pictures of my friends in other countries and different places, and it makes me sad. However, I know this is just a simple earthly desire, and I should really get over it, because not only is it pretty likely not going to happen, but it's not even CLOSE to being important enough to distract me from what I need to be focusing on. Going to camp helps to get this out of my system.
There, my pity party's over, haha. I should probably get back to packing; it's getting late. I probably won't be leaving until tomorrow evening, though, maybs around five o'clock. Probably won't make it to camp until at least seven. I'll have tomorrow to pack n shtuff, but I'll probably also sleep away part of the morning, ha. Anyway, hope y'all have a great summer, and please, please pray for me if you remember! If anyone reading this has prayer requests, contact me, or leave a comment on here. I'll be checking it, just not posting. Thank you.
I've now started packing back up to head to Center Lake for the summer. Well, scratch that...I've started re-organizing what hasn't been UNpacked yet, haha. When I come home, it's usually never for very long, so I just live out of my suitcases until I leave again. I have a small stack of books I'm bringing to read...and some of them to supplement camp's firewood supply, hahahahaha.
One thing (of the MANY things) which I'm excited about for the summer is a study my good friend Mike Carpenter is taking me through. He's going to teach me all about Arminianism and Calvinism, showing me all the Scriptures which support each view, and instructing me on the pros and cons of each. I'm pretty stoked, since this is a discussion topic I've heard lots of people argue about, and one which people ask me about frequently in regards to where I stand on it, so I figured it would be wise to actually learn up on it.
Man, I can't even explain in words how excited I am for the summer...it's ridiculous. Of the several places which I regularly stay at throughout the year, camp is where I feel most at home. Everything I love comes together here: lots of music, living in the woods, lots of hangout time with friends, lots of ALONE time with no one but myself and God, kids, lots of serving, and people who LOVE. It's an amazing place. xD I don't know if I'll have any chances to update this until I'm done for the summer, so don't expect much from me until then. I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories to share afterward. =]
*Side note to anyone reading this: Camp is great and fun, but it's really tough sometimes, for many reasons (kids going insane, the rare conflict between staff, and some serious spiritual warfare), so any and all prayer you can provide for use would be MUCH appreciated!
Another less obvious reason for why I'm excited for camp this summer is because I'm one of those people who's crazy about traveling. I love going places and seeing new things, but I really don't get the chance to do that kind of stuff anymore. My family used to take summer vacations up North every year, and Spring vacations to Kentucky for several years (and yes, I've heard every possible insult for Kentucky, and I don't want to hear any of it, because if you have ever ACTUALLY been there and are in ANY way observant of your surroundings, you would know it's a beautiful state!). We don't do any of those since I've started working at camp, but not because I'm gone all summer. We just can't. This has been bothering me a bit lately; I've been really longing to go out West for a very long time now. This is one trip I've not experienced, but also one I've wanted to take since I was little. I see pictures of my friends in other countries and different places, and it makes me sad. However, I know this is just a simple earthly desire, and I should really get over it, because not only is it pretty likely not going to happen, but it's not even CLOSE to being important enough to distract me from what I need to be focusing on. Going to camp helps to get this out of my system.
There, my pity party's over, haha. I should probably get back to packing; it's getting late. I probably won't be leaving until tomorrow evening, though, maybs around five o'clock. Probably won't make it to camp until at least seven. I'll have tomorrow to pack n shtuff, but I'll probably also sleep away part of the morning, ha. Anyway, hope y'all have a great summer, and please, please pray for me if you remember! If anyone reading this has prayer requests, contact me, or leave a comment on here. I'll be checking it, just not posting. Thank you.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Down Time
Hey y'all. School's finally out for the summer...praise God. I stayed at Uncle Wookiee's house in Jackson and watched Spring Arbor's graduation ceremonies on Saturday. It was kind of sad...I felt like half of my close friends from Spring Arbor graduated this year. Afterward, I went out and had one last meal with my friend Jacob Cook and his family. Then I drove to Quincy and stayed with Ben Rupp until Sunday evening. I spent all of Monday reading Ted Dekker's Saint. The next day, I started reading The Zombie Survival Guide. GOOD times, haha. It's been pretty relaxing since I've come home...the opposite of what this semester was like at school. Not having a paper due every second feels great!
One big problem that I've been working with is my computer. I've been working on switching from Vista to XP these past two weeks, and it's been a real pain. I thought I totally busted it at one point. I think it's working fine now; although I'm still working through some issues with the wireless, and I have no audio capabilities whatsoever, haha.
Tomorrow, I think I'm going to just chill and read Scripture. This time off before camp is some of the only time I'll have off for a long time, might as well make good use of it, right?
I'll probably post at least once more before I head to camp. So yeah.
One big problem that I've been working with is my computer. I've been working on switching from Vista to XP these past two weeks, and it's been a real pain. I thought I totally busted it at one point. I think it's working fine now; although I'm still working through some issues with the wireless, and I have no audio capabilities whatsoever, haha.
Tomorrow, I think I'm going to just chill and read Scripture. This time off before camp is some of the only time I'll have off for a long time, might as well make good use of it, right?
I'll probably post at least once more before I head to camp. So yeah.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
End of the semester thoughts
It's finally drawing near: summer! It's been a really long year for me here at Spring Arbor...
As I write this, I'm sitting on the quiet floor of the library. This has been my home for this whole week: the time I've spent in here this week is more than all the time I've spent in here all year up to this point! I'm in kind of a tight spot with homework. My professors all got together and decided to assign all the biggest assignments of the year to be due this past Monday. Fun. Last week, my Biblical Interpretation class had the week off for class periods so we could work on an 8-10 page exegetical paper. Unfortunately, I had several other really large assignments that were due that week, and by the time I actually was able to come to the library to look for commentaries on the passage that I chose to write on, they were pretty much all taken by the others in my class. I couldn't even finish the preliminary research assignment for the paper until Monday...when the paper itself was due. I e-mailed my professor about this last Friday, asking for an extension because I wasn't going to be able to turn it in on Monday. He didn't really give me an extension, but he at least gave me some leniency and said the late penalty would be slight, just as long as I wrote it well. I'm working on finishing it today so I can hand it in at class tomorrow morning.
Last night I was at a worship/prayer service my good friend Steven started up this year called Rooted. Ron Kopicko, our university chaplain, came and spoke. He had one verse in particular that he shared with us...Philemon 20: "Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ." He then asked us a question that blew me away: "When's the last time someone was refreshed in Christ just by being around you?" Holy cow. That hurt. He challenged us to live a life of service without EVER expecting anything in return from anyone. Everything that he was saying hit me really hard last night. If every person who claimed to be a Christian lived this way...oh man, what would happen!?
I am so excited to be done with this semester. I've finally finished choir, and I am NEVER going back! We had our last concert this Tuesday, and I absolutely gave it the best I could. Good times. This weekend I'm taking a break from school before finals and heading home to have a giant Risk tourney with my friend Jon...it's gonna be EPIC.
Recently, I decided I should add another semester onto my time here at the Arb. I got the job as Spiritual Life Advisor (SLA) on Ormston 3 next year, I might be working as a youth group worship leader at a local church called Westwinds, I'm working on getting a band started up, and on top of all that, I had registered for 17 credits next semester! Needless to say, I kind of wanted to thin out my class schedule a little so that I could do the other things as best as I could.
Dag, yo. I can't wait for these two weeks to be over.
Peace.
As I write this, I'm sitting on the quiet floor of the library. This has been my home for this whole week: the time I've spent in here this week is more than all the time I've spent in here all year up to this point! I'm in kind of a tight spot with homework. My professors all got together and decided to assign all the biggest assignments of the year to be due this past Monday. Fun. Last week, my Biblical Interpretation class had the week off for class periods so we could work on an 8-10 page exegetical paper. Unfortunately, I had several other really large assignments that were due that week, and by the time I actually was able to come to the library to look for commentaries on the passage that I chose to write on, they were pretty much all taken by the others in my class. I couldn't even finish the preliminary research assignment for the paper until Monday...when the paper itself was due. I e-mailed my professor about this last Friday, asking for an extension because I wasn't going to be able to turn it in on Monday. He didn't really give me an extension, but he at least gave me some leniency and said the late penalty would be slight, just as long as I wrote it well. I'm working on finishing it today so I can hand it in at class tomorrow morning.
Last night I was at a worship/prayer service my good friend Steven started up this year called Rooted. Ron Kopicko, our university chaplain, came and spoke. He had one verse in particular that he shared with us...Philemon 20: "Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ." He then asked us a question that blew me away: "When's the last time someone was refreshed in Christ just by being around you?" Holy cow. That hurt. He challenged us to live a life of service without EVER expecting anything in return from anyone. Everything that he was saying hit me really hard last night. If every person who claimed to be a Christian lived this way...oh man, what would happen!?
I am so excited to be done with this semester. I've finally finished choir, and I am NEVER going back! We had our last concert this Tuesday, and I absolutely gave it the best I could. Good times. This weekend I'm taking a break from school before finals and heading home to have a giant Risk tourney with my friend Jon...it's gonna be EPIC.
Recently, I decided I should add another semester onto my time here at the Arb. I got the job as Spiritual Life Advisor (SLA) on Ormston 3 next year, I might be working as a youth group worship leader at a local church called Westwinds, I'm working on getting a band started up, and on top of all that, I had registered for 17 credits next semester! Needless to say, I kind of wanted to thin out my class schedule a little so that I could do the other things as best as I could.
Dag, yo. I can't wait for these two weeks to be over.
Peace.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Easters.
Yes. Easters.
So, I had originally planned on spending Easter break doing homework...definitely didn't happen. My cousin Travis stayed with me Thursday night, then my friend Caleb from back home came Friday night...spent Sunday with a couple guys from school and brought them to my church for the Easter service and then to my family's Easter dinner...good, good times, but no homework. haha.
I wanted to share something which God told me this weekend. I haven't felt like myself lately, as I mentioned briefly in the "Unspoken Thoughts" post. I think this weekend God gave me some insight into why I've been feeling this way. I realized I haven't been feeling like myself because I haven't been ACTING like myself. Yeah, kind of a no-brainer, haha! I realized I've been constantly worrying about people's perception of me lately, especially girls' perception of me (=O oh noes!). This isn't like me, and I don't like it. Also, God has used one of the verses from my last post to really show me how I've been going about things the wrong way:
Galatians 1:10 - "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Man. Today, I stopped worrying, and I had a great day! It's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders...
Another new development this past week: I'm working on putting a band together, for realz.
So, I had originally planned on spending Easter break doing homework...definitely didn't happen. My cousin Travis stayed with me Thursday night, then my friend Caleb from back home came Friday night...spent Sunday with a couple guys from school and brought them to my church for the Easter service and then to my family's Easter dinner...good, good times, but no homework. haha.
I wanted to share something which God told me this weekend. I haven't felt like myself lately, as I mentioned briefly in the "Unspoken Thoughts" post. I think this weekend God gave me some insight into why I've been feeling this way. I realized I haven't been feeling like myself because I haven't been ACTING like myself. Yeah, kind of a no-brainer, haha! I realized I've been constantly worrying about people's perception of me lately, especially girls' perception of me (=O oh noes!). This isn't like me, and I don't like it. Also, God has used one of the verses from my last post to really show me how I've been going about things the wrong way:
Galatians 1:10 - "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Man. Today, I stopped worrying, and I had a great day! It's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders...
Another new development this past week: I'm working on putting a band together, for realz.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Some Scripture that I've had on my mind
I've recently been thinking about/been challenged by some passages of Scripture, and I thought I may as well share them. Bland intro, I know, but that's it.
Galatians 1:10 - "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Philippians 1:21 - "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."
Hebrews 13:12-16 - "So also Christ died outside the gate in order to sanctify the people through his own blood. Therefore let us go to him outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God."
Jonah 4:5-11 - "Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. Now the LORD God appointed a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort. So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, "It is better for me to die than to live." But God said to Jonah, "Do you do well to be angry for the plant?" And he said, "Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die." And the LORD said, "You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?""
Yeah, they're random. They've been on my mind, though, and I just thought I would share them with y'all. The end.
Galatians 1:10 - "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Philippians 1:21 - "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."
Hebrews 13:12-16 - "So also Christ died outside the gate in order to sanctify the people through his own blood. Therefore let us go to him outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come. Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God."
Jonah 4:5-11 - "Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. Now the LORD God appointed a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort. So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, "It is better for me to die than to live." But God said to Jonah, "Do you do well to be angry for the plant?" And he said, "Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die." And the LORD said, "You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?""
Yeah, they're random. They've been on my mind, though, and I just thought I would share them with y'all. The end.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Weekend at the Arb
So, I have some free time, and it's the weekend...why not spend some time doing something that's less important than homework, but still better than just doing nothing?
Seriously, though, I am happy that I have a little extra time this weekend. It feels like it's been forever since I've NOT had a busy weekend.
This week, however, has been busy! On top of catching up from two weeks of being away from school, I had to fill out a housing application for next year, an SLA application for next year (for those non-SAU students, that's Spiritual Life Advisor. It's a volunteer position that each dorm floor has. A very basic explanation: they pray for the people on their floor and lead Bible studies.), my camp contract stuff for the summer, and my Cross Cultural Studies paperwork for next year (which easily took more time than the other three together...). I will hopefully be spending several weeks in May and early June in Ireland and England next year with a group from school. I've heard this was the most popular trip available, however, so I might not be able to go...my second choice was Chicago, though, so I'll either be having an AMAZING time overseas, or I'll be saving nearly two thousand dollars...at least it's a good fall-back plan, right? haha.
Things are going well, other than being busy most of the time. Last night a bunch of my guy friends and I watched the first Jurassic Park...good times. Next Thursday is the last night before our Easter Break starts, and we're actually planning on having a marathon of all three of them!
God's been teaching me some good stuff about patience and trust lately. However, I have to say that I haven't been spending much time with Him lately...I could easily say that I haven't had much time, but that's a lame excuse: "Although He has all the time in the world to spend with me (literally), I'm just too busy with MY things to spend time with the God Who saved my soul from eternal damnation." Lamesauce. I've been getting involved with a couple small groups of guys who are trying to learn better spiritual disciplines, especially prayer. One group I'm with is going to start meeting every weekday morning to pray, and I'm pretty excited about it! You know what else I'm pretty excited about right now???
CAMP. I got a position as a senior counselor again, and I can't wait! I think this summer is going to be really good...but then, I'm pretty sure I say that every year...lol. It's always true, though; camp is just an amazing place.
Speaking of camp, I'm pretty sure I said at one point that I would be devoting a post to my latest summer at camp, since I did that for all the other ones up to this past summer. I think I'll get on that soon; I'd like to keep my word.
Whelp, I guess that's about it for now. Ima go spend some time with Jesus, and then attempt to be productive again. Blog ya later!
Seriously, though, I am happy that I have a little extra time this weekend. It feels like it's been forever since I've NOT had a busy weekend.
This week, however, has been busy! On top of catching up from two weeks of being away from school, I had to fill out a housing application for next year, an SLA application for next year (for those non-SAU students, that's Spiritual Life Advisor. It's a volunteer position that each dorm floor has. A very basic explanation: they pray for the people on their floor and lead Bible studies.), my camp contract stuff for the summer, and my Cross Cultural Studies paperwork for next year (which easily took more time than the other three together...). I will hopefully be spending several weeks in May and early June in Ireland and England next year with a group from school. I've heard this was the most popular trip available, however, so I might not be able to go...my second choice was Chicago, though, so I'll either be having an AMAZING time overseas, or I'll be saving nearly two thousand dollars...at least it's a good fall-back plan, right? haha.
Things are going well, other than being busy most of the time. Last night a bunch of my guy friends and I watched the first Jurassic Park...good times. Next Thursday is the last night before our Easter Break starts, and we're actually planning on having a marathon of all three of them!
God's been teaching me some good stuff about patience and trust lately. However, I have to say that I haven't been spending much time with Him lately...I could easily say that I haven't had much time, but that's a lame excuse: "Although He has all the time in the world to spend with me (literally), I'm just too busy with MY things to spend time with the God Who saved my soul from eternal damnation." Lamesauce. I've been getting involved with a couple small groups of guys who are trying to learn better spiritual disciplines, especially prayer. One group I'm with is going to start meeting every weekday morning to pray, and I'm pretty excited about it! You know what else I'm pretty excited about right now???
CAMP. I got a position as a senior counselor again, and I can't wait! I think this summer is going to be really good...but then, I'm pretty sure I say that every year...lol. It's always true, though; camp is just an amazing place.
Speaking of camp, I'm pretty sure I said at one point that I would be devoting a post to my latest summer at camp, since I did that for all the other ones up to this past summer. I think I'll get on that soon; I'd like to keep my word.
Whelp, I guess that's about it for now. Ima go spend some time with Jesus, and then attempt to be productive again. Blog ya later!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Unspoken Thoughts: Now available in easy-to-read Spoken version!
Sorry I haven't posted in quite some time, but I've been really busy lately, and I've just been storing up some thoughts so I can spew them all out in one big, nasty mess.
Something that's been on my mind for some time now is the ever-present issue of dating. I have had some pretty lame experiences with relationships, and this past Fall semester, I was a real mess. Of course, I know some very nice, Jesus-lovin' girls, both on campus and off, but I don't think it's a good time for a dating relationship of any kind in my life right now. So, I've made a pact with God to stay out of such a relationship at least until the end of this school year. That may sound weird to some reading this, but I haven't heard anything contrary to my own feelings from God, so I figure this is the right way for now. I wanted to make sure that I don't get myself into trouble again, and making a pact with God seemed to be the best option. Just the other day, I had some good time with Him where I just laid it all out...what I think about all this, the path that I feel is correct...and the fact that I want His will to be done in my life, whether I think it's "right" for me or not. One problem is that I have a lot of bad fears about being in a relationship that have gone a bit past just caution, and that I know didn't come from God. I have to be careful to tune out my own thoughts about this and listen to what God tells me, or else I might miss something important.
I would LIKE to keep this pact through the summer as well. Shouldn't be too difficult, since starting relationships at camp isn't necessarily the best idea, anyways. Camp relationships have to be handled REALLY maturely, or else they might really mess with the community.
I've also been thinking a lot lately about what (assuming I will be in a dating relationship again, hahaha) I would want my next relationship to look like. I've been going over what was wrong with my previous relationships, and also what was good about them. The next one will be quite different, I think. I don't want to be so dependent on the other person as I was, and I certainly don't want a girl that is more dependent on me than she is on God...don't ever let that happen. There's a lot more than just this, but that's probably the biggest thing.
I believe I've already spoken a little on this in "Journal Entry 1," but I believe that the ultimate purpose of a relationship needs to be to glorify God, just as everything else in our lives should be. It's not to make yourself happy; it's not to make the other person happy; it's not to make yourself better; it's not to make the other person better. It's all about God. The end.
So, here I am. What can I do but wait on God's leading? If it's in His will, He will bring it to pass, so I don't have to worry myself over it.
Tomorrow is the beginning of Choir Tour, and it's ridiculous how not excited I am for it. I'm really glad I won't have to take choir again. It's been a lot of fun, but it takes up way more time than any 1-credit class ever should, and it doesn't mean anything for my new major anways. Whatevs.
I've felt like, not myself lately. I think it's because of all these thoughts. Might also be because of the lameness of school lately. Yeah...it's probably mostly that second one, actually.
Yup. This is basically what I've been dealing with lately. Hope it's shed some light on Casey Butler's mind for ya.
One of my Otrhodox friends here on campus suggested something to me a while back. Now, to get the full effect of what this is saying, you have to have a really open mind and think really deeply about it:
"Heaven and hell may or may not be the same place."
That thought made my head explode when I first heard it, and I think it just did again. My head can't even stand to concentrate on that thought longer than like, 3 seconds, hahaha! Have fun.
Something that's been on my mind for some time now is the ever-present issue of dating. I have had some pretty lame experiences with relationships, and this past Fall semester, I was a real mess. Of course, I know some very nice, Jesus-lovin' girls, both on campus and off, but I don't think it's a good time for a dating relationship of any kind in my life right now. So, I've made a pact with God to stay out of such a relationship at least until the end of this school year. That may sound weird to some reading this, but I haven't heard anything contrary to my own feelings from God, so I figure this is the right way for now. I wanted to make sure that I don't get myself into trouble again, and making a pact with God seemed to be the best option. Just the other day, I had some good time with Him where I just laid it all out...what I think about all this, the path that I feel is correct...and the fact that I want His will to be done in my life, whether I think it's "right" for me or not. One problem is that I have a lot of bad fears about being in a relationship that have gone a bit past just caution, and that I know didn't come from God. I have to be careful to tune out my own thoughts about this and listen to what God tells me, or else I might miss something important.
I would LIKE to keep this pact through the summer as well. Shouldn't be too difficult, since starting relationships at camp isn't necessarily the best idea, anyways. Camp relationships have to be handled REALLY maturely, or else they might really mess with the community.
I've also been thinking a lot lately about what (assuming I will be in a dating relationship again, hahaha) I would want my next relationship to look like. I've been going over what was wrong with my previous relationships, and also what was good about them. The next one will be quite different, I think. I don't want to be so dependent on the other person as I was, and I certainly don't want a girl that is more dependent on me than she is on God...don't ever let that happen. There's a lot more than just this, but that's probably the biggest thing.
I believe I've already spoken a little on this in "Journal Entry 1," but I believe that the ultimate purpose of a relationship needs to be to glorify God, just as everything else in our lives should be. It's not to make yourself happy; it's not to make the other person happy; it's not to make yourself better; it's not to make the other person better. It's all about God. The end.
So, here I am. What can I do but wait on God's leading? If it's in His will, He will bring it to pass, so I don't have to worry myself over it.
Tomorrow is the beginning of Choir Tour, and it's ridiculous how not excited I am for it. I'm really glad I won't have to take choir again. It's been a lot of fun, but it takes up way more time than any 1-credit class ever should, and it doesn't mean anything for my new major anways. Whatevs.
I've felt like, not myself lately. I think it's because of all these thoughts. Might also be because of the lameness of school lately. Yeah...it's probably mostly that second one, actually.
Yup. This is basically what I've been dealing with lately. Hope it's shed some light on Casey Butler's mind for ya.
One of my Otrhodox friends here on campus suggested something to me a while back. Now, to get the full effect of what this is saying, you have to have a really open mind and think really deeply about it:
"Heaven and hell may or may not be the same place."
That thought made my head explode when I first heard it, and I think it just did again. My head can't even stand to concentrate on that thought longer than like, 3 seconds, hahaha! Have fun.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Pre-Crowder show
Holla peeps! Tomorrow is David Crowder* Band here at Spring Arbor, and we're all pretty pumped. I've even heard there's a youth group from New York coming, which is a little ridiculous.
I have been doing a LOT of homework this week because I had several large projects due Thursday and Friday, and it's pretty much sucked the life out of me. However, one of my profs told us today that one of our assignments that would be due Friday is getting pushed back to Monday. PRAISE the LORD. I was sorely tempted to skip out on a good part of the concert to stay in my room and do work...even though I already bought a ticket and a bunch of friends are coming. It's been a long week.
I've been putting some small study into the Orthodox Church and what they believe as compared to Protestantism, and so far, I kind of like what I've seen. However, there's a lot of stuff I still don't understand, and stuff that I'm not sure that I can go along with, so don't go thinkin' I'm converting just yet, haha! It's not like it's a separate religion, anyway...at least as far as I know, heh.
By the way, I mentioned in one of my earlier posts that one of my friends and I didn't seem to be doing so well in our friendship. That's changed, fortunately. It just took some time, a little initiative, and prayer. Things are going pretty well now. =]
I know it's still only February, but I'll be pretty excited when warmer weather is here to stay! I miss going on walks 'n' such in the evening. I realized the other day that I'm really really grateful for Spring Arbor, because here I can go for a walk anytime of day or night without anyone caring where I am or when I'm coming back. I can go out and listen to music, or just walk quietly and talk to God. Good times.
Anyways, I guess that's all for now. I've been itching to post lately, but I hadn't thought of anything to post until today. You'll probably hear from me again soon enough.
I have been doing a LOT of homework this week because I had several large projects due Thursday and Friday, and it's pretty much sucked the life out of me. However, one of my profs told us today that one of our assignments that would be due Friday is getting pushed back to Monday. PRAISE the LORD. I was sorely tempted to skip out on a good part of the concert to stay in my room and do work...even though I already bought a ticket and a bunch of friends are coming. It's been a long week.
I've been putting some small study into the Orthodox Church and what they believe as compared to Protestantism, and so far, I kind of like what I've seen. However, there's a lot of stuff I still don't understand, and stuff that I'm not sure that I can go along with, so don't go thinkin' I'm converting just yet, haha! It's not like it's a separate religion, anyway...at least as far as I know, heh.
By the way, I mentioned in one of my earlier posts that one of my friends and I didn't seem to be doing so well in our friendship. That's changed, fortunately. It just took some time, a little initiative, and prayer. Things are going pretty well now. =]
I know it's still only February, but I'll be pretty excited when warmer weather is here to stay! I miss going on walks 'n' such in the evening. I realized the other day that I'm really really grateful for Spring Arbor, because here I can go for a walk anytime of day or night without anyone caring where I am or when I'm coming back. I can go out and listen to music, or just walk quietly and talk to God. Good times.
Anyways, I guess that's all for now. I've been itching to post lately, but I hadn't thought of anything to post until today. You'll probably hear from me again soon enough.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I am forgetful
I too often forget Who God is.
I too often forget what God is capable of.
I too often forget how weak I am without God.
I too often forget how much God loves me.
I too often forget that God is my Father.
I too often forget how much Jesus suffered for me.
I too often forget how well Jesus knows my own struggles.
I too often forget that God is always with me.
I too often forget that I have been freed from the sin which used to control my life.
I too often forget that this world has nothing for me.
I too often forget Who knew me before the earth was created.
I too often forget that God knows my thoughts, even though others don't.
I too often forget how much it cost my Father to see His Son Jesus die on a cross.
I too often forget how unworthy of grace I am.
I too often forget the Spirit that dwells within me.
I too often forget that there is a Friend Who sticks closer than a brother.
I too often forget that I owe God everything that I have.
I too often forget that I am a wretched sinner.
I too often forget that the world doesn't revolve around me.
I too often forget to love.
I too often forget that my body is a temple.
I too often forget to put others' needs above my own.
I too often forget to show true respect to my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I too often forget to view those around me as my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I too often forget about God.
I too often forget that faith is meaningless without works.
I too often forget that works are meaningless without faith.
I too often forget the kingdom of God.
I too often forget that I have given my life to Christ.
I too often forget that I need not be anxious.
I too often forget that I was bought at a price.
I too often forget that I gave up my rights in exchange for something better.
I too often forget that I have a Lord.
I too often forget that I am a slave to Jesus Christ.
I too often forget that God is what matters most.
I too often forget that I am nothing.
I too often forget that I need God.
I too often forget that God doesn't forget.
I too often forget what God is capable of.
I too often forget how weak I am without God.
I too often forget how much God loves me.
I too often forget that God is my Father.
I too often forget how much Jesus suffered for me.
I too often forget how well Jesus knows my own struggles.
I too often forget that God is always with me.
I too often forget that I have been freed from the sin which used to control my life.
I too often forget that this world has nothing for me.
I too often forget Who knew me before the earth was created.
I too often forget that God knows my thoughts, even though others don't.
I too often forget how much it cost my Father to see His Son Jesus die on a cross.
I too often forget how unworthy of grace I am.
I too often forget the Spirit that dwells within me.
I too often forget that there is a Friend Who sticks closer than a brother.
I too often forget that I owe God everything that I have.
I too often forget that I am a wretched sinner.
I too often forget that the world doesn't revolve around me.
I too often forget to love.
I too often forget that my body is a temple.
I too often forget to put others' needs above my own.
I too often forget to show true respect to my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I too often forget to view those around me as my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I too often forget about God.
I too often forget that faith is meaningless without works.
I too often forget that works are meaningless without faith.
I too often forget the kingdom of God.
I too often forget that I have given my life to Christ.
I too often forget that I need not be anxious.
I too often forget that I was bought at a price.
I too often forget that I gave up my rights in exchange for something better.
I too often forget that I have a Lord.
I too often forget that I am a slave to Jesus Christ.
I too often forget that God is what matters most.
I too often forget that I am nothing.
I too often forget that I need God.
I too often forget that God doesn't forget.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Hey, so, I'm actually still continuing this blog...it's just been a little while, haha
So yeah. It's been a while, and I thought I would share a bit of what's been going on. Spring semester here at Spring Arbor started last week, and so far I'm really enjoying my classes. Being a Retreats and Camping Ministries major now, I'm in the religion department, which means a LOT more ministry and religion classes (go figure). This semester two of them are Biblical Interpretation (REL 220) and Philosophy of Ministry (CMI 210). Other than that, I've been putting some real effort into making God my main focus, and trying not to let myself be distracted by other things. I've actually been managing my time better lately, too, so I make sure that I have time every day to spend with God. ALSO, handed in my application for camp this summer to my boss Don when he came to the Arb to promote the camp last week! I'm pretty excited about that, too!
Now, for CMI 210, I just had to write out a short paper about my own philosophy of ministry (what a shock...). I'll probably get it back this week sometime, but I wanted to post it on here as well to get some feedback from anyone who reads this.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest¬e_id=49166452210&id=#/note.php?note_id=49166452210&id=581283650&index=0
Ok, so that's that. For those of you who actually read all that, what did you think? I'm eager to hear your opinion, especially if you think that I'm incorrect in something that I said in it.
Now, for CMI 210, I just had to write out a short paper about my own philosophy of ministry (what a shock...). I'll probably get it back this week sometime, but I wanted to post it on here as well to get some feedback from anyone who reads this.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest¬e_id=49166452210&id=#/note.php?note_id=49166452210&id=581283650&index=0
Ok, so that's that. For those of you who actually read all that, what did you think? I'm eager to hear your opinion, especially if you think that I'm incorrect in something that I said in it.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Self-righteousness
Self-righteousness is a problem that I've been thinking about lately. I feel like I've really been noticing it with some of my friends, and just as I get ready for some Biblical rebuttal to throw at them, I think to myself, "Sooo...how do you expect to get that sliver out of their eye while you have that PLANK lodged in yours???" How will being self-righteous against those that you feel are being self-righteous help the situation? It'll probably just end in some meaningless argument about who's better than who, which is probably why it actually started in the first place. I've found myself in a few of those lately, and it's dumb. I've also been reading through Proverbs for a while now, and it has quite a bit to say about the self-righteous, or those who are "wise in their own eyes," as it states it more elegantly. Humility isn't something that comes easy for me. I've always been the one that likes to prove that they're smarter than you, and who'll get into arguments over miniscule details. I always thought that my logic was better, my grammar was better, and blah, blah, blah. That's something that I've learned about myself and that I've tried to correct for a while now. I've found myself playing the fool in various situations and conversations because I'm tired of pretending I'm a smarty-pants. Personally, I think life is more fun this way than it is being a stickler, anyway. I guess that's all I had on my mind for now.
Favorite quote as of late:
"They thought I was the dad!" - my dear Uncle Wookiee
Favorite quote as of late:
"They thought I was the dad!" - my dear Uncle Wookiee
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A couple post-break thoughts
Well, I'm back at school again, and break was really relaxing, in case you were wondering. I didn't live up to my own aspirations for break, though, which really disappointed me. It took me quite a while to get into regularly spending time with God and in His Word, even with all the free time I had. After I did get back on track, however, I felt lame for not spending much time with my Father sooner.
I realized more fully how much I could care less for "normal" Christmas traditions, like trees, lights, and presents. One of my favorite amusements from break was getting a Family Christian Store catalog that had, "share the wonderfull gift of Christ" plastered on the front. I didn't add the bold lettering or alternate spelling of that, by the way...that was exactly what it looked like. Yay for consumerizing Christ. Share Christ to your friends and family by buying our stuff! Ugh.
Anyways, I'm really happy to be back at Spring Arbor, and I'm ready for the rest of the year. My spring semester is completely sorted out with my new major, and J-Term is going to be pretty laid back. Good times. Hope to hear from ya'll soon!
*Edit* - Also, just finished reading Brisingr today. Good book!
I realized more fully how much I could care less for "normal" Christmas traditions, like trees, lights, and presents. One of my favorite amusements from break was getting a Family Christian Store catalog that had, "share the wonderfull gift of Christ" plastered on the front. I didn't add the bold lettering or alternate spelling of that, by the way...that was exactly what it looked like. Yay for consumerizing Christ. Share Christ to your friends and family by buying our stuff! Ugh.
Anyways, I'm really happy to be back at Spring Arbor, and I'm ready for the rest of the year. My spring semester is completely sorted out with my new major, and J-Term is going to be pretty laid back. Good times. Hope to hear from ya'll soon!
*Edit* - Also, just finished reading Brisingr today. Good book!
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