Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Freedom through the power of Christ

So, lately I've been experiencing real freedom from a lot of stuff in my life. One such something which I'm really happy about is regarding a past relationship of mine. I was doing homework on the quiet floor of the campus library when my ex-girlfriend suddenly AIMed me online. Due to the issues surrounding our break-up and at the rate things were going, I wouldn't have been surprised if we would've never spoken to each other again. At first, I was very confused as to why she wanted to talk to me, but I let her speak. She said that she felt bad about the way things went down between us, that she recognized that she had disrespected me with the way she handled the break-up, that she had made it nearly impossible for us to be friends at all afterward, and that she wanted to ask me for forgiveness.

Hear that? Yes, that explosion was my mind being blown. I never expected to hear those words or anything similar to them. I didn't really know what to say at first. I thanked her and forgave her, and also apologized for hurting her with the way I handled things. We talked for a bit, and then the conversation was over.

I felt so freed afterward. I had kind of forgiven her in my mind a good while ago, and I had given up any negative feelings I had toward her. However, I had no hope of us ever being friends again at all, and we had never actually apologized to each other for the way we treated each other afterward. I thank God for this moment of peace, and for the reconciliation He let us experience. We may or may not ever be friends who talk on a regular basis, but God at least brought this opportunity for forgiveness, and I would be OK with us being friends again. Thank You, Jesus.

Peace.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Romans 7

So, the chapel speaker this morning was Chuck White, one of the university religion professors. He presented a very interesting interpretation of Romans 7, one which I hadn't heard before. He said we often see Romans 7 as being an autobiography of Paul and his fight with sin. However, Chuck said that this is probably not a valid way to look at the passage. He brings up an interpretation offered by both Origen and John Wesley which says Paul is speaking from a different perspective in Romans 7. Since Paul's language of being captive to sin doesn't fit with his description of life in Christ in both previous and later passages, Chuck said Paul was probably speaking from the perspective of someone who didn't yet know Christ. I could go into it more, but I have things to do today, so if you want to talk about it more, leave a comment or something, haha.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

A conversation

"Father, what do you want me to do?"
-Love.
"Father...how can I love?"
-Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
You must love me first to do this.
"How can I love you more?"
-You must obey my commandments. I have given you my Spirit and all strength through my Son. You must obey, even if you don't want to. You must obey, even if you don't feel as though your motives are right for it. It will come.
...but it will be difficult.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Spring break! WOOHOOO

So, a nice long break from school is finally here. I stopped at home for the weekend before heading out on my extensive travels around the lower peninsula. I've spent the last few days at camp, and now I'm in Big Rapids with my friend Joel. Tomorrow, I'll be heading to Grand Rapids for the rest of break. Good times.

Things have been pretty rough, though. I've had an increasing desire to get closer to God (and some real motivation for it, too), but at the same time, I've been having some really difficult struggles. When my desire for God gets to a new, better place, Satan launches a nuke my way. It sucks. I need discipline, and badly. So, if you're reading this, and you're one of the praying types, I'd really appreciate your prayers.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Something that's been in my head

I'm just a stranger here, despite your everything. I'm not attached to your world of disease. Like father always said (and I can only agree), "Son, they will hate you because they always hated me..." and even though I feel alone, I know that I could never be.

If it's a choice between this veil of ecstasy and all the lonely suffering of seeing things so clearly (if I've said it once, I'll say it twice; I'll say it for all eternity), I'll find all the comfort I need inside this bleeding...and even though I feel alone, I know that I could never be.

Together we are so ugly with rejection, but to our eyes, we're the ones shimmering. I've unplugged the wires from your spine. At first you'll be afraid, but we will be so content...and we will live again. Just crawl across this desert heat and become tragic with me, and now that we are not alone, you know that we could never be.

Nobody knows. Nobody cares. Nobody sees outside our safe haven.

...and we will live again: alone, and so content...

- "Safe Haven," Project 86

Saturday, March 13, 2010

O God Where Are You Now (In Pickerel Lake? Pigeon? Marquette? Mackinaw?)

So, I noticed something very interesting about what's going on in my life recently. Things are going pretty well right now. I seem to have my Spring Break planned out pretty well. I'm doing alright i my classes. Several summer plans are starting to come together. God has taken away some serious anxieties out of my life. So what's wrong? I need God badly. When life seems to be going great, we easily lose track of God. Last night, I realized how much I have lost track of Him.

God, show me how to completely depend on You when everything is fine.