Living in the Past

So, I was walking around campus for a while today. Going barefoot everywhere really make me feel better. It opens up more of my senses, and makes me feel more alive. Anyways, that was really off-topic. I was getting stuck in thoughts of past mistakes and foolish things I've done, and this question suddenly popped into my head:

"If you're going to live in the past, why don't you live in the death and resurrection of Christ?"

Dang. Why should I be so overcome with shame from the past when my shame has been taken away in the past as well? I need to live more out of thanksgiving. A good follow-up to my previous post, I think.

Peace.

Memory

So, I'm kind of sad today. I've been forgetting a lot of things lately. Last week, I forgot my backpack with my semester class notes in the DC, and I'm pretty sure someone stole it. It hasn't been returned to myself or to any lost and found area which it may have been left near. I was supposed to go hunting with my grampa last night (Porchfest night, for people from the Arb), and I forgot to tell him that I couldn't make it. I need to call him and apologize today. I forgot to set my alarm this morning to go to class, although I had prepared some homework to turn in, and I'm not doing as well as I could in the class already.

Just one of those days, you know?

At least I'm not addicted to cocaine.

Peace.

The Woods

So, I decided (pretty last-minute) yesterday night that I was going to sleep in the woods at Spring Arbor. I grabbed my tent, sleeping bag, Bible, and some food and water, stuffed them into my backpacking pack, and found a good spot at around 2100 (9pm). I came back on campus once the tent was set up, and after hanging out with a couple friends, I went back and went to sleep.

Getting a tent set up in the woods in the dark by yourself is an interesting endeavour, to be sure. I was kind of freaked out for a while. It was very quiet where I was, so every little bug crawling on the forest floor sounded like a rabid raccoon coming for my ankles. At least that's what my brain kept going to. Really, though: all the little noises are amplified by about five times when they're the only noises you can hear. It's great.

While I was walking around in the dark, I couldn't help but think about God. Interesting how easy it was for me to turn my mind to Him when I was far away from all the fun things I like to do each day. So few distractions out in the woods.

Sleeping in itself was also an interesting experience. It actually felt pretty good to be sleeping on the ground, even with the sticks and stones underneath me. I just used my shirt as a cushion for my side, and by jacket for a pillow, and I slept great. When I woke up at about 630 the next morning, I honestly felt refreshed. I woke up to birds singing sweetly and the sun gently shining into my tent. It. Was. Fantastic. I did go back to sleep for another hour just because I was up late that night, but I was very ok with being up that early for once.

Part of the reason I felt so refreshed was just that waking up in the woods is something completely different. We're so used to waking up in our little boxes; our world starts when our alarms go off. We get up, get dressed, and go to work. When you wake up in the woods, the first thing you realize is that the world is already busy around you, and yet it's taking it's sweet time. You realize that you're part of something bigger. You realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and your silly plans. It's a humbling experience.

I'm planning on camping out at least one more time this semester, hopefully bringing a couple guys with me just so I can have some camaraderie. Next semester, I think it would be nice to camp out most weekends, if I get the chance. Just thought I would share some thoughts from this time around.

Peace.

Thoughts on Life #2

So, someone I know just posted a question on Facebook which made me very sad: "Does anyone know a place where I can find single Christian men?"

Sigh.

I've expressed my views on relationships on here before, and even more so to my friends in person, but I'll still say this: I do not believe everyone has to get married and be in a romantic relationship to be happy, and I also do not believe everyone is meant to get married.

For anyone who knows me and didn't already know this, I just recently broke up with my girlfriend, ending the longest dating relationship I have been in yet. We both realized we weren't really happy in the relationship, and that this was probably not going to change. On my own end, I've been finding Paul's words in 1 Corinthians more and more directed at me: "I wish all were as I am," him speaking of being single. I realized that I honestly don't want to be married anytime soon, and if that's the case, what is the point of being in a dating relationship right now? To make me feel better about myself? Unless I happen to run across someone who is willing to go crazy in life the way I'm trying to (and if I'm pretty good friends with them for a while first...not making that mistake ever again), I really don't want to have anything to do with a dating relationship right now. Now, I don't know if I'm going to feel the same way about this in five years or so, but those are definitely my thoughts right now, and I'm pretty dang happy with them. Whenever I ask God about it or start worrying/over-thinking things, He just keeps telling me to have patience and wait. So, that's what I'm going to do.

Some of my life goals currently: Get the heck out of Spring Arbor University with a degree. Find a really cheap (price and quality) apartment within a year. Sell/get rid of a bunch of crap. Find a job which will pay more than what I need to survive in said crappy apartment. Pay off student loans (I'm pretty sure debt is un-Biblical. Financially, I really regret coming to SAU. This is a subject for a whole other blog rant, though). Save up some money. Get a motorcycle. Save up some more money. Travel.

That's all for now, I guess.

Peace.

Psalm 130

So, I was reading out of this chapter today, and verses 3 and 4 really hit me:

"If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
that you may be feared."

The first half is enough to spend quite a while on in itself...but it doesn't stop there. God has forgiveness enough to forgive everyone. The last phrase actually has me kind of stumped right now:

"But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared."

Sounds paradoxical, right? We normally associate fear with UN-forgiveness. This verse sounds like it's saying God should be feared BECAUSE he forgives. Interesting, no? Anyone have any thoughts on that?

Peace.

Bible study

So, for one of my classes, I've had to create a Bible study series as an almost-final project. I'm just finishing it up now. I've really felt like someone in youth ministry doing this: I started with one whole topic for the series and objectives for it. I started making titles and objectives for each of the lessons, and as I wrote them, I have to keep going back and changing my objectives, because the direction kept changing. Now that I'm done, it looks like I need to change the general topic and objectives as well, since I took it all in a different direction than I anticipated. It's been really interesting, and helpful as well.

Also, I'm been thinking more lately about what I want to do after I graduate from Spring Arbor next fall. I'm strongly considering going to an outdoor leadership school after I get my loans paid off, if that happens relatively soon. Along with this, I really just want to travel all over after I'm done here. There are so many opportunities to go on adventures and have an impact on people's lives. I can't wait. Probably going to be stuck in some horrible job as soon as I graduate, but I think it would be worth it in the long run.

Peace.

Mmmm, weather.

So, it snowed today. I woke up pretty upset about it. During Chapel, our chaplain subtly told us we have no right to be complaining about the weather, citing all the earthquakes, floods, nuclear accidents, and tornadoes which have been destroying people's homes and lives over the past month and are continuing. Definitely sobered me about how little my wet feet matter. Thought I would share this with anyone reading from Michigan who's also unhappy about the April snow.

Peace.

Papers, presentations, projects...oh my...

So, I just finished one of the most obnoxious papers for school I've ever written. The topic: Predestination and Election. Now, don't worry, I'm not going to rant or ramble about that stuff in this post.

I think what made this paper so hard was that it's in combination with a presentation on the same topic which I have to give in class with one other student. The problem? We're both on one side of the argument, and over 3/4 of the rest of the class is on the other...and we have to open up the presentation for discussion after we're done...basically meaning we're going to have to defend ourselves against almost a whole class. Needless to say, I'm a little nervous about that. Oh well. I've put in a ton of research for this, so I'm confident we can give adequate answers for just about anything...they just may not like our answers, that's all. haha.

I've definitely become more solid in what I believe through this. I've also realized even more how much the Body of Christ should NEVER divide over this issue. Basically (and I've told plenty of people this already), if anyone says they know exactly how God works, especially regarding salvation, they should be totally disregarded.

Ugh. Anyways. Today, my friend Adam walked into my room, looked at me, and said: "Tanktop? Beanie? You look like a tuna farmer."

I think I found my new calling in life.

Peace.

EQ

So, in my recreation class, one of my classmates recently gave a presentation on EQ, referring to emotional intelligence. She handed out questionnaires for each student to fill out on their own time to look at their personal emotional health. I just filled mine out, and the answers I came up with did not really surprise me. A quick summary:

I can have a good time, but it's hard for me to really find bliss or awe in activities.

I can accept the help and criticism of others, and am willing to be taught.

I can let go of anger quickly, but not very often.

It is very hard for me to be tender and compassionate.

I am generally very critical of myself, and easily become judgmental toward others.

I can easily express how I feel to people I trust.

That's pretty much it. This is how I see myself, at least, whether or not other people see those things as true. There was also space for a friend to answer the same questions about me; I think I will ask my roommate to fill that portion out. I also have another copy of the quiz I will be giving to someone else, assuming someone else is interested in taking it. Anyway, the point is that I recognize some of my better aspects which God has made (and built over time) in me, but I also see some areas where I need to let Him have more control. Hope this was a little insightful for others.

Peace.

Lecture Series

So, this week a man named Andrew Walls came to Spring Arbor to give a few lectures. The topic was "Global Perspectives on Christianity." I was really interested, so I decided to go check it out. He spoke about the changing worldwide demographics of Christianity, past trends, future trends, the early church, and missionary work, both past and present. Here are some interesting thoughts, quotes, and points I gleaned:

A crusader goes elsewhere and makes people live Christian lives on his terms. A missionary goes elsewhere and lives a Christian life on other people's terms.

"The altars of Mammon are as gruesome as those of Molech." (comparing past and present idolatry)

Africa has quietly taken Europe's former place in the Christian world.

Already, North American and European Christians are substantially outnumbered by Christians in the rest of the world, and if trends continue, 2/3 of Christianity will be Non-Western.

The early church was culturally, geographically, and linguistically diverse; world Christianity has always been global, even before the "missionary movement" began.

"The only way a Jew could become a Christian was by becoming a Gentile Christian: a sad reversal." (explaining the disdain much of the world had for Jewish Christians eventually)

"When Anthony goes to the desert, he is not escaping the world: he is challenging the devil on his own ground." (during his explanation of Father Anthony and the beginnings of Christian Monasticism)

He also gave a very interesting analogy explaining the Trinity which has apparently been around for hundreds of years. It's a little strange, so bear with me, but it actually works pretty well:

We drink life in Christ just as one would drink a glass of milk. The Holy Spirit is the One Who has "milked" the Father for this life and brought it to us.

That is all.

Peace.

Getting redundant...

So, I know this is starting to get old, but it looks like I'm going to be abandoning the site URL I just adopted. I just got a bunch of business cards in the mail today, and since they all have my blog's old URL stamped on them, I'm going to have to switch back...or else I would have to order a whole new batch of business cards. Sigh. I don't really want to switch back, but c'est la vie.

caseybutlerkingofthewildfrontier.blogspot.com

Peace.

Pass This Cup

So, yesterday was a hard day. Thank you for your prayers, to those who were praying for me. I ended up going to my night class a little late because of the events of the day. In this class, we always have some silent prayer time. Yesterday we had about ten minutes. Right before the silence, our professor was speaking about Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, when He was praying that if all possible, the cup would pass from Him. During the silence, I thanked God that He had passed the cup from me and had lifted the burden I was carrying from the day. Immediately, He responded with, "The cup of suffering I have for you has not been passed," and a great feeling of awe and dread came over me as I realized that these events were nothing in comparison for what I will face in the future. Thank you, God, for not letting me wallow in shame and regret.

Peace.

Fasting

So, you might notice my blog's name has been changed. I thought it was about time to name it something more appropriate to what I write about. The youtube link goes to the song "I Do Not Belong" by Kutless, which should help explain why I chose the new title.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ0i1KRY0wc

Also, for anyone who prays, I would ask that you pray for me this week. I need guidance and discernment very badly, and I'm going to be seeking it hard this week.

Peace.

Update

So, does anyone remember my post about a month ago in which I wrote out my thoughts on fast food, buying from big corporations, and the like? I thought I would give y'all a little update on how things are going.

I've completely ditched Taco Bell at this point. Since my last post, I've only eaten Taco Bell once, and it was just cheesy fiesta potatoes. I've been trying to eat McDonald's less as well, but that's been harder. I have at least been trying not to eat at the McDonald's and Marino's Pizza across the street from Spring Arbor, because they're the easiest fast food-type places to get to from here. I've also been eating a lot more salads lately, and have been feeling relatively healthier in general. Several of my friends have been trying to keep me accountable to not eat fast food since they read my last post, and I'm thankful for that.

I actually don't think I've shopped in Wal-Mart since my last post, either. I've been in Meijer a few times, but I've honestly been trying to shop more at Hutch's especially while I'm at Spring Arbor. It's been working out pretty well so far, mostly since I don't have to buy food very often anyway.

I've also been recycling more lately, especially since all the dorms got several new recycling bins for various materials. That's been nice.

One more main thing: I decided I'm going to buy a bike this summer. I really want to get back into better shape, especially in combination with the healthier eating habits I'm trying to engender in myself. Biking around Spring Arbor next semester, around home, and around other places would help me spend less on gas, as well. Since I'm already trying to save for an internship this summer, however, I'm considering giving in to consumerism a bit and putting some advertisements on my blog to help me save up. Don't worry though; if I do, I'm going to be very picky on the advertisers I try to get. They might actually be interesting.

Peace.