A sad realization

So far, Christmas break this year has been better than pretty much all my times at home have been in a long time. Before break, I decided to have a serious attitude change before returning, and my mom has even noticed this. However, I am having a more difficult time in changing for the better when it comes to my relationship with God. This morning, God convicted me of my laziness in this matter. I looked at my walk with God, and I was disturbed by where I am. I very often stray from the path God wants me on to pursue my own selfish desires. I recently experienced a cross-carrying moment that left me feeling really encouraged and strengthened in Christ...but when I failed to do the same thing again because I wasn't relying on Him, I realized how long it has been since I've actually carried my cross for Christ's sake. I break and give in so quickly to my selfishness, it's a wonder that God has brought me this far. I have to start not only disciplining myself to do what I know is right and true, but also start actually putting my trust in God and truly asking for strength from Him.

In other news, I have a giant pile of clothes in my van right now that I received from guys in Ormston who wanted to donate them to those in need. No, I wasn't referring to myself when I told them that; several of us were going to donate them to who-knows-where in Jackson, but we never really got anything organized. So, hopefully, today I'll be running them up to a Goodwill in Okemos. Yay Goodwill. I'm tempted to take in a huge pocketful of change and buy some cassette tapes for my van while I'm in town...hehe.

Peace.