So, I am officially home for Christmas break, and it's already been a struggle even after only a day. However, I want things to be different this break: between myself and God, and between myself and my family. I want to be a light to my family, and I know that can only happen with God's help...so I need to seek Him hardcore.
I was listening to some music on the way back from a Saturday night service in Holt, and I hit a Building 429 song that I hand't really listened to before; the lyrics resounded in me, though. I'll share a snippet of it:
"But I won't question in the dark what is true out in the light;
I will follow after You through the sun and through the night.
I won't question in the dark what is true out in the light;
I will follow after You through the storm and through the fight.
'Cause You've got me right where You want me;
Yeah, You've got me right where I need to be,
And I'm standing amazed."
It's so hard to see God's will when I get back home on breaks, because I just want to chill and entertain myself through the boring times. However, I know that God has a plan for me even for the short time while I'm home, although that fact breezes by me so often. I lose sight of God when I'm home: saying I'm going to seek Him, yet lacking the follow-through when it's most important. My arrogance says I don't need to dive into God's Word because I already know enough...even as untrue as that is, this is the attitude I take when I find myself bored. So, instead of seeking His will through Scripture or prayer, I find something else to do...like play music, check my e-mail, etc. Those are fine...but when I already haven't spent enought time with God that day, it adds up to a whole lot of nothing, and I end up regretting not spending that time with Him later.
So, then...how do I go about fixing my hypocrisy? I'm going to go spend some time with my Saviour right now and figure that out.
Peace.
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3 comments:
yay Casey! It makes me so glad that you are choosing to seek God, even when the people around you aren't. I hope God reveals more of Himself to you!
UGH! same here....it blows... let's start...
I hear ya bro. What is it with boredom and not wanting to get intimate with God? My stay at home thus far is way off from the goals and hopes i had at the end of summer. I've noticed it harder for me to be around my family -- that's never changed -- but i do need to put myself in a better position to make spiritual progress. Miss ya Case'ms :-)
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