So, here we are, enjoying a time of rest and fellowship with those we love. Thanksgiving Break is wonderful.
As unforgiveably cliche as that statement was, it's pretty true for me. This is one of the few times of year that I can spend a significant amount of time with a bunch of relatives on both sides of my family. I am the only link between my mom and dad's respective sides of the family because of a big mess from almost two decades ago, so two Thanksgiving dinners are in store for me each Thanksgiving Day. Sooo good.
I wish all that was the purpose of this blog, though. Since the summer, I've been wondering why I'm at Spring Arbor now. I'm a Retreat and Camping Ministry major. If that's really the type of career I'm going to be working toward after college, why am I not just interning at camp? Neither of my bosses at Center Lake Bible Camp have a degree like this. They actually got the experience they needed in other ways. One was a Biology major, the other was a construction worker; God prepared them perfectly through these experiences for their present jobs. God has certainly done a lot in, on, and through me during my time at Spring Arbor, and for that, I'm thankful. However, I don't know how much longer I should stay. I feel miserable at school, and at times I can't stand the thought of being there for another year and a half after this year is over. The funny part is, several of the textbooks I have to read for school affirm this feeling in me, and according to what they say, I should probably leave. I was seriously entertaining thoughts on not returning to Spring Arbor; I am committed to a few things at school this year that I didn't think would be wise for me to just back out of, so I came back. Now that it's halfway through this year, my grades are slipping, and I can't seem to fix them. My desire to take classes and be at school at all has sunk into the negative. I'm always worrying about getting the next assignment in, whether or not I'll be able to keep a scholarship for next semester, and now the Michigan "Promise" Scholarship has fallen through for me and a bunch of others...
Should I just get over all this after the schoolyear's over and press on, or should I do something else? I'm not the only one who feels like staying at school might not be what God wants us to do; I hear stories like this all the time, and many from Spring Arbor. Of course, this isn't the majority, but I do hear from more and more of my friends that they feel similarly.
I would like to move to Grand Rapids with a bunch of my friends, to be honest. I feel really at home there, and when I'm home or at school, I just feel like I'm floating in an ocean, completely directionless. Relient K's song "College Kids" has never felt more applicable. I've also seriously considered leaving school to intern at Center Lake. Seems to be "THE" thing to do for the kids who don't know what they're doing with their life...haha. Anyways, I could use your prayers about this situation, whoever reads this blog. If any of my friends who read this want to talk about this with me...please...don't hesitate. I don't want to make a decision that I will regret later, whatever the decision is, so getting counsel from others is one of my priorities.
Peace.
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3 comments:
Casey Butler i say do what God is calling you to do. Let go of what your friends will think. Follow Jesus with wild abandonment. College isn't for everyone. I say call up Don or Duane and talk to them. It only takes a phone call.
I will cover this with prayer...for sure!!!
A couple of things, I bet it was really hard to write what you did, You did slice the heart, it is bleeding, No one can decide but you, continue to pray about it and do what you see fit. Not what I would think or what anyone else might think. Yeah the thought of you moving on and not Graduating from SAU pains me, but that is JUST me, I know a couple of things..
GOD does have a plan, put the trust and faith in him..
Regardless of what the decision is YOU will not have to do voice lessons again!
I trust your judgment, all I ask is you keep the friendship alive and well. Let me know if and when I can be of help..
Ernie
Sorry to hear you have doubts about where you are. It's certainly a struggle to decide where to invest your time and money, as both can be considered irreplaceable. I, too, have fought over whether to stay at SAU or not. Then, a story which i've shared with you, i became totally broken and needed to fully rely on God. Suddenly, i had this desire to not leave Spring Arbor and i'm still glad i stayed (though the loans are a bit much).
Spring Arbor became this very Jesus-centered place for me, and i learned more about life than i did about whatever i studied in class. I completely looked forward to meeting and chilling with friends like you, professors like Patton and Brent Cline, etc.
I don't know what to say except i'll pray for you, even though i'm posting this in December, lol. I still have a sort of love/hate thing for Spring Arbor, but whatever love is there outweighs whatever hate is there.
One love.
~Jacob
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