Anew

So, this week has been craaazy. Not in a schoolwork or traveling way like usual, but in a spiritual way. Last Friday, I was reading John 15:1-17 for a class assignment. I went through the passage really slowly and prayerfully, trying to be open to whatever God might say to me through it. I got to verse 15, and read it several times:

"No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you."

As I read those words, I was one of Jesus' disciples, and He was speaking directly to me. I couldn't imagine why I had read those words so many times before, yet had never read them with the understanding I did this time. For years, I have felt distant from God: always trying to get closer to Him, but rarely able. I had no idea where I was going or what God was doing with and around me. I have never experienced Jesus calling me His friend until now. He then showed me verse 11:

"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."

I have been asking God for a while to open me to His love, and to change my heart so I actually desire Him. In these moments when God was speaking to me, the Holy Spirit helped me understand a little more how God really does take joy in me as His son and also began really noticeably changing my desires.

In chapel on Wednesday, the Holy Spirit moved again through the speaker, and God helped me realise the freedom I have in Christ's sacrifice. I knew in my head that I was free from sin, but that day God spoke freedom into my heart. These two intense experiences with God gave me the strangest feeling. I can hardly put it into words...but I kind of felt like I had just become a Christian. I had all this head knowledge about God before...but now I feel like I actually know God. It's...awesome.

Peace.