Refreshed

"Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ." Philemon v.20

The chaplain at Spring Arbor likes to talk about this verse. He says we should refresh people in Christ; we should love God so much that just our presence is refreshing to others. That's just a brief mention of what he says about that verse, but that's enough to get across what I'm going to talk about.

I recently met someone who refreshed my heart in Christ. I can't think of anyone off the top of my head who's done that as soon as I've met them. He was not a student at Spring Arbor, but he was running around campus for a day praying over the dorms and buildings and proclaiming freedom loudly over campus. I found him in the evening and was able to talk to him about what he was doing and where he came from. He was a really crazy dude who basically got stuck in Spring Arbor twice by God this week so he could pray over it. God is going to really change people's hearts this year on campus I think. I guess I can't say much else, other than this character honestly refreshed me just by being around him, and God brought him here for a purpose, even if only for a short time. Keep praying.

Peace.

Thoughts on words

So, going on the assumption that someone still reads this after my last post, I have some things to talk about tonight. First off, thanks to anyone who read my last post and prayed for me...really appreciated that. I've been in the midst of some massive spiritual warfare the past few weeks. As you could see from two posts ago, God has been teaching me a lot of stuff, but (as illustrated by my most previous post) Satan's really trying to mess it up. Maybe I've lost some standing with whoever happened to read it, but I don't care. I'm not going to pretend like everything's always perfect with me. At least through all this crap, God's really been letting me see the warfare going on around me.

Next on the agenda, I was reading Psalm 52 tonight, and along with some other thoughts from the day, it really got me thinking.

"Why do you boast of evil, O mighty man? The steadfast love of God endures all the day. Your tongue plots destruction, like a sharp razor, you worker of deceit. You love evil more than good, and lying more than speaking what is right. Selah.

You love all words that devour, O deceitful tongue. But God will break you down forever, he will snatch and tear you from your tent; he will uproot you from the land of the living. Selah."

That's almost entirely about just words; the way we talk to others. I was already thinking about this topic earlier today; interesting how God's been bringing it to my attention so much. It's funny to see how we cut down others constantly with our words, but pretend it's ok, because we're just joking. We want to sound witty and make people laugh. That's a good thing, right? Who doesn't want to be popular? I'm guilty of that. Then there's other times when I see my friends just being unnecessarily critical of other friends. Of course, it's ok to talk like that to people you're friends with and have known for a long time. It's ok to point out their flaws and how they've inconvenienced you by some action they've made, even if it wasn't entirely or at all their fault, since you'll still be friends even after you say it. Besides, you're just helping them to become a better person, right? Maybe you're just trying to train them to look out for you. I'm guilty of that. People who call themselves Christians or Christ-followers or Jesus freaks can be serious jerks when they see someone else not being perfect (i.e., being a human, just like them). I'm guilty of that. Personally, I'm really quick to criticise my mom. I had to apologize to her just today because of my attitude. I'm not saying all this to just point at everyone else; I'm included. God has really been convicting me in this area today.

Jesus, draw us near to you. Show us true love. I want to look foolish to the world. I want to love like I'm not afraid.

God's also been really showing me how I need to show His love to my family. I would realy appreciate it if you would pray for God to work in my family and that he would keep me from getting in His way. Pray the same for yourselves, while you're at it; no family is perfect.

Peace.

Rough day(s)

So, apologies in advance if this is kind of a downer blog, but I wanted to say something here without spouting it out all over Facebook. I've been having a rough couple of days spiritually...along the lines of serious doubts in my faith. It's been really hard on me, and my mom could even tell something was wrong with me today. These doubts just hit me all of a sudden, and they made me really depressed and confused.

I've been listening to a lot of less than God-honoring music lately, and at home it's hard for me to spend a lot of time around people who really love God. I wouldn't say these in and of themselves are contributing factors, but outside of those, I don't really know why these doubts hit me so hard. It sucks. Really bad. For a while, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. It's especially hard when you don't see anyone who matches the description of a Christian as outlined in the Bible.

As I said, there's a reason I didn't want to put this directly on Facebook. I've been begging God to help me see the truth through this, and He has shown me hope. He's also let me know subtly that I need to stop lowering my standards. I've been doing that a lot lately, now that I think about it. I've been listening to a lot of stuff that's just no good on the radio, under the pretense of wanting to listen to "good" music. I've been lowering my standards for the kind of relationship I'm looking for by thinking things like, "Oh, well, she's pretty, and likes Jesus enough."

...what happened to me? Good grief, God has been showing me so many things lately, and I repay Him with unbelief? I've been asking His forgiveness and help with this...and He has been faithful to restore my faith in small, simple ways today.

I was listening to Demon Hunter's song "Shallow Water" earlier this evening, and it made me think about how I don't challenge myself with sacrifice...I do sacrifice, but not to the point of needing to trust in God. I need to take a step deeper in faith if I'm going to really see God work.

Here's the chorus to the song I mentioned:

"Tread shallow water: safe from the weight, the burden of sacrifice.
Sons and daughters, pray for the rain. May it redeem their eyes."

If you've read this far, I would ask for your prayers as the second line of that chorus goes.

Peace.

A thought on guidance

So, I was reading in Psalm 25 recently, and found these verses: "Who is the man that fears the LORD? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land. The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant." (25:12-14, ESV)

Maybe you've never had this problem, but I remember lots of times when I've wanted God's guidance in some matter, prayed for Him to show me the way, and sat around wishing He would just show me a little of His will...all while my relationship with Him was failing in all other areas. Oftentimes, these prayers for guidance in some situation were the first times in quite a while when I had bothered to talk to Him earnestly about something at all. This morning I read Psalm 37:4-5: "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act." I realized how foolish I was to think God would've acted in these situations when I wasn't committing myself to Him each day; I was just coming to Him in my time of need, expecting Him to help me after ignoring Him in all other situations. Seems kinda silly, doesn't it?

Peace.

Psalm 18

So, I was recently thinking about how I might be done with this blog because I didn't have anything to write about. Today is different. I sat down this afternoon and opened up my Bible to Psalm 18, reading it out loud as a prayer. It seemed to really apply to my current situation, especially in the first few verses, like 4-6: "The cords of death encompassed me;the torrents of destruction assailed me; the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help." I used the passage as a prayer up until verse 20-22: "The LORD dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me. For I have kept the ways of the LORD, and have not wickedly departed from my God. For all his rules were before me, and his statutes I did not put away from me." Dang. I read that, and I thought, "I haven't done any of those things...I can't use this as a prayer for God to help me in the same way, Then I read the next two verses: "I was blameless before him, and I kept myself from my guilt. So the LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight." Whoa. It's one of those things that I knew, of course, but that God decided I needed to relearn straight from Him. I am blameless before God because of Christ's sacrifice...I should be keeping myself from my guilt and rejoicing, not telling God through my actions that Christ needs to be sacrificed again for all my horrible deeds. That passage really made my day (week, actually) a lot better.

Also, just a little bit of encouragement:
You know what's really hard? Praying without ceasing.
You know what we can do through Christ? Yeah.

Peace.

Travel time again

So, here I am, writing my last blog for a good month, and possibly even up to three months. My emotions are running rampant, I can't believe it, I can't breathe...

Whatever. You'll get over me.

But seriously, there's a lot going on. I'm going to IRELAND TOMORROW MORNING. Goodbye America. I'm finally going to be able to visit one of my top three places I want to go before I die. I can hardly believe it. I have to go shopping for a bunch of people while I'm there. I'm also hoping to pick up a bit of an accent and maybe some local lingo while I'm gone. When I get back on June 10, I have to head straight to camp for the summer, as I'll already be about a week and a half late.

In other news, I forget whether I announced it here or not, but I got rid of my Facebook account around last November. Currently, I also do not have a functioning cell phone because of bizarre circumstances. I am very out of touch with most of my friends because of this. It feels really weird, and I can't contact many people who I would really like to, but, at the same time, it feels pretty good. I can focus much more easily on what's around me. I believe my mom is picking me up a cell phone for me to have when I get back from Ireland and England, but I won't have one until then, and I really won't have any contact at all with North America while I'm gone. It's going to be awesome. To have no communication with anyone I know via all forms of electronics (except maybe the possiblity of checking my e-mail and blog at some point while I'm there, and also excluding the people I'm traveling with) for a whole month...it's going to be interesting, and I think it will be really beneficial. Being at camp afterward is also going to really help ease me back to normal life, since I'll still be rather limited while I'm there, with little time to be online and comparable reception for my cell phone. I'm banking on me being less reliant on these things by the summer's end, so I have decided to get my Facebook back after camp gets out. I think it's been long enough, and I've learned a lot about how to manage my time properly. I also need to reclaim my title (see the URL at the top of the page), as it seems one of my friends has decided to steal it now that I'm gone.

Anyways, I hope this post finds whoever reads it well-rested and ready for the summer. Hope ya'll have a good one while I'm gone!

Peace.

Pray for your friends

So, there's a sign outside my room right now which a friend of mine put up today. It's his bill for the school. He owes Spring Arbor a good chunk of money, and wrote on the paper, "PLEASE PRAY OVER THIS!" He didn't ask for money, and he didn't say he's worse off than anyone else; he only asked for prayer. My room is right in front of the stairwell, so when people leave the floor or come up the stairs, they're pretty likely to see it. I've had the misfortune of hearing several people's reactions to this sign. "That's nothing, I owe [insert dollar amount] to the school!" I understand that if you owe a lot more money than someone else does, their problem seems less important to you, but SERIOUSLY. He asked for PRAYER, NOT your criticism and sick pride in your own "poverty." "Oh please, my problems are so much worse than his, he doesn't even have the right to ask for prayer in this matter." That's what I was really hearing from people. If we are going to call ourselves a community of brothers on this floor, then we should be able to look at others' problems and have compassion on them.

Philippians 2:1-4
"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count other more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interests of others."

Funny how often we take those words for granted.

Peace.