So, a nice long break from school is finally here. I stopped at home for the weekend before heading out on my extensive travels around the lower peninsula. I've spent the last few days at camp, and now I'm in Big Rapids with my friend Joel. Tomorrow, I'll be heading to Grand Rapids for the rest of break. Good times.
Things have been pretty rough, though. I've had an increasing desire to get closer to God (and some real motivation for it, too), but at the same time, I've been having some really difficult struggles. When my desire for God gets to a new, better place, Satan launches a nuke my way. It sucks. I need discipline, and badly. So, if you're reading this, and you're one of the praying types, I'd really appreciate your prayers.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Something that's been in my head
I'm just a stranger here, despite your everything. I'm not attached to your world of disease. Like father always said (and I can only agree), "Son, they will hate you because they always hated me..." and even though I feel alone, I know that I could never be.
If it's a choice between this veil of ecstasy and all the lonely suffering of seeing things so clearly (if I've said it once, I'll say it twice; I'll say it for all eternity), I'll find all the comfort I need inside this bleeding...and even though I feel alone, I know that I could never be.
Together we are so ugly with rejection, but to our eyes, we're the ones shimmering. I've unplugged the wires from your spine. At first you'll be afraid, but we will be so content...and we will live again. Just crawl across this desert heat and become tragic with me, and now that we are not alone, you know that we could never be.
Nobody knows. Nobody cares. Nobody sees outside our safe haven.
...and we will live again: alone, and so content...
- "Safe Haven," Project 86
If it's a choice between this veil of ecstasy and all the lonely suffering of seeing things so clearly (if I've said it once, I'll say it twice; I'll say it for all eternity), I'll find all the comfort I need inside this bleeding...and even though I feel alone, I know that I could never be.
Together we are so ugly with rejection, but to our eyes, we're the ones shimmering. I've unplugged the wires from your spine. At first you'll be afraid, but we will be so content...and we will live again. Just crawl across this desert heat and become tragic with me, and now that we are not alone, you know that we could never be.
Nobody knows. Nobody cares. Nobody sees outside our safe haven.
...and we will live again: alone, and so content...
- "Safe Haven," Project 86
Saturday, March 13, 2010
O God Where Are You Now (In Pickerel Lake? Pigeon? Marquette? Mackinaw?)
So, I noticed something very interesting about what's going on in my life recently. Things are going pretty well right now. I seem to have my Spring Break planned out pretty well. I'm doing alright i my classes. Several summer plans are starting to come together. God has taken away some serious anxieties out of my life. So what's wrong? I need God badly. When life seems to be going great, we easily lose track of God. Last night, I realized how much I have lost track of Him.
God, show me how to completely depend on You when everything is fine.
God, show me how to completely depend on You when everything is fine.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Another week of good and bad
So, this week has been interesting (y'all should keep track of how many times I've use that sentence to start off my blog). I heard from my boss at camp, who said I pretty much have the job I was hoping for, yet thought I had little to no chance of actually getting. I get to co-lead a large handful (and yes, they are quite a handful) of high school volunteers all summer long. As much as I enjoyed counseling for three summers straight, I am very excited to be doing this. I'll be coordinating them with my good friend Kris Locker, who has done this for a few years now and knows the ropes a bit better than I, so I think it will go well.
Myself and other guys from my dorm floor here at Spring Arbor started up something very cool one week ago: a covenant. We made an accountability covenant to help each other grow closer to God and learn to encourage one another better. When one of the guys messes up in something, his covenant-brothers fast and pray for him during one meal. This would be great, except it's not working out quite as well as I had hoped. I have been on the receiving end of two fasts so far, and the encouragement aspect of it (which everyone agreed to in the covenant they signed) has been somewhat lacking. The first time, I received a less-than-encouraging response, which I actually ended up receiving an apology for as well later. The second time (today), one of my friends actually came to me and told me he had been upset about fasting because of me and was still bitter about it. He asked me to pray for him about it, which I sort of did (looking back on it, I could've done better, and I think I will some more now), but I was still put off by what he said.
I have been very discouraged by a few things today, including that incident, and they have made me want to tear up the covenant and say, "Whatever, it's not working." One of my friends told me last night, though, that he thinks the covenant is a great idea, and that he knows the Enemy has been upset by it. I could feel that today, and I still do. Thank God that He has given me strength to not give up. These incidents have shown me that I need to share Christ's love all the more to those around me, as it is so easy to get discouraged.
Romans 15:13
When you see or hear me close out with the word "peace," understand that I want this verse to be my prayer each time. When I say "peace," I want it to mean more than just a hippie-like way of saying "goodbye;" I want you to go with the peace of God.
Peace.
Myself and other guys from my dorm floor here at Spring Arbor started up something very cool one week ago: a covenant. We made an accountability covenant to help each other grow closer to God and learn to encourage one another better. When one of the guys messes up in something, his covenant-brothers fast and pray for him during one meal. This would be great, except it's not working out quite as well as I had hoped. I have been on the receiving end of two fasts so far, and the encouragement aspect of it (which everyone agreed to in the covenant they signed) has been somewhat lacking. The first time, I received a less-than-encouraging response, which I actually ended up receiving an apology for as well later. The second time (today), one of my friends actually came to me and told me he had been upset about fasting because of me and was still bitter about it. He asked me to pray for him about it, which I sort of did (looking back on it, I could've done better, and I think I will some more now), but I was still put off by what he said.
I have been very discouraged by a few things today, including that incident, and they have made me want to tear up the covenant and say, "Whatever, it's not working." One of my friends told me last night, though, that he thinks the covenant is a great idea, and that he knows the Enemy has been upset by it. I could feel that today, and I still do. Thank God that He has given me strength to not give up. These incidents have shown me that I need to share Christ's love all the more to those around me, as it is so easy to get discouraged.
Romans 15:13
When you see or hear me close out with the word "peace," understand that I want this verse to be my prayer each time. When I say "peace," I want it to mean more than just a hippie-like way of saying "goodbye;" I want you to go with the peace of God.
Peace.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Cliche movie line
"People are dying out there!"
This phrase has been used so much in movies and elsewhere to justify certain radical actions. We use it to jump the gun on God's plan. We want to get out of our situations and go do something meaningful.
Have you ever thought that people are dying right here? The man you walk past on the street, the woman next to you on the plane...they might be in need of a life-giving transformation in their lives, and we are so consumed with our high callings that we will do anything to get to them, even if it means blowing past these people without a second thought.
"They're someone else's ministry; that's not what I feel God is calling me to; I'm not really comfortable doing that." Seriously? Do we realy need to justify why we're not doing everything we can for the people around us right now? Even if you can't do more than just give them a smile, or acknowledge their existence, such actions might be enough.
"If I can't tell them about Jesus, then there's no point." WRONG. I love the often-quoted line of St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the Gospel always. If necessary, use words." If our actions aren't showing the love of Christ, then how will our words make up for it? They won't.
I'm not saying that I have this right. I suck at showing God's love to those around me. I was just thinking about all this stuff, and thought I would write it out.
Peace.
This phrase has been used so much in movies and elsewhere to justify certain radical actions. We use it to jump the gun on God's plan. We want to get out of our situations and go do something meaningful.
Have you ever thought that people are dying right here? The man you walk past on the street, the woman next to you on the plane...they might be in need of a life-giving transformation in their lives, and we are so consumed with our high callings that we will do anything to get to them, even if it means blowing past these people without a second thought.
"They're someone else's ministry; that's not what I feel God is calling me to; I'm not really comfortable doing that." Seriously? Do we realy need to justify why we're not doing everything we can for the people around us right now? Even if you can't do more than just give them a smile, or acknowledge their existence, such actions might be enough.
"If I can't tell them about Jesus, then there's no point." WRONG. I love the often-quoted line of St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the Gospel always. If necessary, use words." If our actions aren't showing the love of Christ, then how will our words make up for it? They won't.
I'm not saying that I have this right. I suck at showing God's love to those around me. I was just thinking about all this stuff, and thought I would write it out.
Peace.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Homework...
So, I've realized something really stupid. Myself and others sometimes complain about how we don't have enough time to spend with God in His Word because of homework. Even when our homework is required reading of Biblical texts and responding to them on paper in some way, we still say, "Oh, well, it's not the same. This is making it into homework. I want to read it for my own, on my own time!" I just realized how incomprehensibly lame this excuse is. Back in the day, kids ten years younger than us would already have a decent portion of the Law memorized because they HAD to. Why the heck are we complaining? We are REQUIRED TO READ THE BIBLE! How much better can things get? I am officially taking a new stance on required Biblical readings for classes. I'm going to start viewing this as a good chance to delight in His laws.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
